Why Won't He Shave? Revisited

To the tune of "Come Out and Play (gotta keep em separated)" by the Offspring
Filked by Sithspit


If I did this right, you'll never look at this duo the same again...

Han:
(I gotta keep him depilated!)

He's like a walking carpet,
He's shedding all over me,
He's got that really long thick brown hair and,
It goes down past his baldric and knees!

It clogs up all the 'freshers, gets the cushions as well,
It gets all over me and my clothes look like hell.
The Falcon's interior and his long hair don't mix
I've got to trim him up, trim him up, trim him up, trim him up

Hey! Man, this hairball's killing me
Clipper's cram! (I gotta keep him depilated!)
Hey! At least he hasn't got some fleas
Scissors jam! (I gotta keep him depilated!)
Hey-ey! I'm losing my mind
His hair is everywhere in all the places you can find
Hey, why won't he shave?!

Last night I coughed up a hairball,
I;m not the one with the hair.
He'd better trim himself off a good foot or two,
Or a can of Nair will be deciding his fate!

He may owe me a life debt but his mane is a curse,
I'd tear out all my hair but it would just make it worse.
His never ending shedding's got the better of me,
S'enough to make a long rope, make a long rope, make a long

Hey! Man, this hairball's killing me
Razor's break! (Gotta keep him depilated!)
Hey! Cut off a decent foot or three
Help me out! (Gotta keep him depilated!)
Hey-ey! Goin' outta my mind
He's over 7 feet and he can shave his own behind
Hey, why won't he shave?!

He may owe me a life debt but his mane is a curse,
I'd tear out all my hair but it would just make it worse.
His never ending shedding's got the better of me,
S'enough to make a long rope, make a long rope, make a long

Hey! Man, this hairball's killing me
Razor's break! (Gotta keep him depilated!)
Hey! Cut off a decent foot or three
Help me out! (Gotta keep him depilated!)
Hey-ey! Goin' outta my mind
He's over 7 feet and he can shave his own behind
Hey, why won't he shave?!

POSTED 08.23.2005 / KEYWORDS: Classic Trilogy , Sithspit