One Week

To the tune of the same name by Bare Naked Ladies
Filked by Jeff Suess

It's just one week till the fanfare plays
Curtain pulls to the side and we're in a daze
Five days till we stare at the screen saying
"Long time ago in galaxy far away"
Three days since we pack up snacks
Stuffed them all in our official licensed backpacks
Yesterday our lives meant much less
'Cause in a few days we'll be at Phantom Menace

Here they come, watch out for fanboys
They're all showin' off their new toys
It's just some loser dressed as Walrus Man
I kinda miss the times like this
With die hards throwin' tiny fits
About who built the vintage R2-D2 garbage can
Hot like Tatooine in the summertime
camp out days in line
Gettin' tickets for the first show
At night we freeze off our butts
We order Pizza Hut's
We get warm with geeks that we don't know
Gotta stay awake and take a break
I'd like a stinkin' Ewok steak
I like the Wicket, it's the finest of the flavors
Gonna see the show like years ago
The crowd will go and it'll grow
'Cause it's so wonderful, you'll go again to savor
How can I help to see the greatest movie ever made
Do ya like my costume, 'cause it's homemade
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at See-Threepio
Thinks that George can't steer us wrong,
Well, Captain Eo
I have a tendancy to rave on and on and on
I have a history of mental illness

It's just one week for ads to benefit
Yoda flies Mike threw the air and says "Just Do It"
Five days since we brushed our teeth
I've got Darth Vader underoos on underneath
Three days since we ate a meal
You realize we've had T-bell all week just for the toy deal
Yesterday we watched Sir Guiness
Now it's Ewan McGregor in Phantom Menace.

Check out the child with the chinese trinkets
All these imports I'd better not think it
Watchin' Empire just to see Fett
It's the best you get
But we ain't seen Phantom Menace yet
Like Harrison Ford, I'm going Solo
Like John, it's "oh no"
Like Nixon, I forgot the bootleg tapes
Like Kathy Lee, I drag my kids
'Kay, I don't have kids
But my dog's wearing one of Lando's capes
Gotta get a set a' better cards
Gotta find the kind with Palace Guards
Hope the creatures don't look like something out of Pokemon
Gotta get the tune of Droids cartoon
From my head soon 'cause it'll ruin al the music
That Williams has been working on
How can I help it if you come off stupid when you're mad
Thought the holiday special wasn't all bad
Youre the kind of guy who really liked Darksaber
Thank the Maker we're not friends,
Just line neighbors
I have a tendency to speak my mind on many things
I have a history of losing my mind

It's just one week till we take our seats
Hold our collective breath and feel our heartbeats
Five days till Titanic sinks
and James Cameron hopes that Episode One really stinks
Three days to pass rumors on
We'll find out if it's a hit or phenomenon
Yesterday was a mere success
But in a few days we'll be at Phantom Menace
In a few days we'll be at Phantom Menace
In a few days we'll be at Phantom Menace
Eechop gootah yutini yaggle grrrr hiss

POSTED 08.23.2005 / KEYWORDS: Jeff Suess