The ABC Murders
by Ghitsa

In summer 1996 a spontaneous challenge arose on the Club Jade mailing list: Write a story in which you kill an original character created by (or movie character perverted by) Kevin J. Anderson (author of The Jedi Academy trilogy and Darksaber and favorite victim of CJ snark.)

I had proposed to slaughter a few dozen accountants and beaurocrats -- ask them to do something and watch them go mad, drop rolls of paper on them, have them develop allergic reactions to their pocket protectors. But..... It simply wasn't bloody enough.

So, Ghitsa had done them all in. The following is inspired by Edmund Gorey.

In a few instances, I had to borrow from other books unable to locate an Anderson character with an appropriate initial. Some of the really strange names came from his Jawa's Tale in the Mos Eisley Cantina book. Thanks to the usual suspects the lead singers and back up vocals of the Dead Daalas for help with the names -- they were all scurrying through SW books while all others slept to help me bring you the following nursery rhyme.

A is for Anderson sucked into the Maw.
B is for Brakiss sliced by a vornskr's paw.

C is for Cilghal hung out to dry
D is for Daala pierced by the Eye.

E is for Exar Kun on whom a Hutt sat.
F is for Furgan devoured by womp rats.

G is for Gantoris vibroknifed in a bar
H is for Het Nkik immolated in a Death Star.

I is for Irek who overdosed and died.
J is for Jacen and Jaina who fell to the Dark Side

K is for Kyp too insipid to live.
L is for Lowbacca slaughtered by a Whipid.

M is for MTD reconstructed by Jawas.
N is for Nodon shredded by Wampas.

O is for Odosk trampled in the Tauntaun pen.
P is for Porcellus dropped into the Rancor's den.

Q is Qwi lost in a Krayt lair
R is for Reegesk crushed under hardware

S is for Streen too close to a detonator
T is for Tionne -- well the Sarlacc ate her

U is for Ulic Qel Droma on whom banthas fed.
V is for Vodo Siosk Boss blasted quite dead.

W is for the Wampa we thought had died in ESB.
X is for Xixor who met Leia's knee.

Y is for Yemm who the Ewoks attacked.
Z is for Zeth squashed by a dewback.