Filk

In the Tundra

To the tune of �The Lion Sleeps Tonight�
Filked by Pammie

]]> The snow is wet, the snow is wet, the snow is wet� (Continues through the song)

On the tundra, the freezing tundra
The creature sleeps tonight
On the tundra, Hoth�s freezing tundra
The Creature sleeps tonight.

Near the hideout, the rebel hideout
The creature sleeps tonight,
Near the hideout, a freezing cold base,
The creature sleeps tonight

Hush Skywalker, don't fear Skywalker,
It�s Obi-Wan tonight
Saying travel to Dagobah
Please survive the night

Here comes Solo, your friend Han Solo
So things will be all right
In the morning, the freezing morning
Skywalker�s still alive.

Leia (A23-1138)

To the tune of "Jenny (867-5309)" by Tommy Tutone
Posted by Hansgirl3

]]> Leia, Leia, girl that I rescued
You called me Flyboy, while shootin' the trash chute
I know that I'm not like the others before
A guy like me, a Princess can call

Leia, I got your number
I say, "Your Highnessness"
Leia, I get on your nerves
A231138 (A231138)
A231138 (A231138)

Leia, Leia, you're the girl for me
You're a Princess and you make me so crazy
I tried to kiss you before, but that droid came in
They froze me in Carbonite, now; It's love we are in

Leia, I got your number
I say, "Your Highnessness"
Leia, I get on your nerves
A231138 (A231138)
A231138 (A231138)

I'm free now (I'm free now)
I'm free now
She got me down from off that wall
I'm free now (I'm free now)
I'm free now
That's my Princess
She didn't let me fall

Hey!

Leia, Leia, who can I turn to?
(A231138)
On the light side
I can always turn to you
*repeat to fade*
(A231138)
(A231138)
(A231138)

Big Buns

I'm dating myself with this one. If you didn't see ESB in the theatre you may not remember this song. Thanks to Jessa and Kelly for the betas.

To the tune of "Big Balls" by AC/DC
Posted by Yav

]]> Well I'm rather upper class high society
Force gift to Alderi nobility
And I always fill my blaster
The rebellion never small
The holonet say I've got
The biggest buns of all

I've got big buns
I've got big buns
They're such big buns
And they're pretty big buns
Cinnamon big buns
Cinnamon big buns
But I've got the biggest buns of them all

And my buns are never bouncing
My blaster always full
And everybody runs and runs again
If your name is on my hit list
No one can blast you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great blaster fire

I've got big buns
I've got big buns
They're such big buns
And they're pretty big buns
Cinnamon big buns
Cinnamon big buns
But I've got the biggest buns of them all

Some say they look like pastries
Don�t match my fancy dress
But when I�m under pressure
They're the hairstyle I like best
My buns are never bouncing
One on left and one on right
It's my belief that my big buns
Should be in every fight

(oh) I've got big buns
Chewie�s got big buns
Vader�s got big buns
And Jabba�s got big buns
Tarkin�s got big buns
Greedo�s got big buns
But I've got the biggest buns of them all

(oh I've got big buns, I've got big buns...)
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh I am such a rebel scum
Cin�mon pastry, gel, hairpins... (but I've got the biggest buns of them all)

Short Cute Princess (in a White Dress)

To the tune of "Long Cool Woman (in a Black Dress)" by the Hollies
Posted by Figrin

]]> Episode IV I was onboard
Workin' for the ISB
Devastator chasin' a Corvette
Rebels were tryin' to flee

Boardin' the cruiser through the airlock
Killin' traitors who had me annoyed
Just about to call up the Vader man
When I saw this woman program a droid

Her pair of curly buns made me open my eyes
My blaster was ready to stun
She was a short cute princess in a white dress
And she's aimin' at me with her gun
With just one shot I was a bad mess
Cuz that short cute princess got it done.

I saw her headin' to the bunker
With a tall Wookie at her back
When they surrendered, I thought we had 'em, boy
But we never thought those freaks would attack
Well, suddenly we heard those Ewoks
And everybody started to shoot
A-jumpin' outta trees and bushes
And just then, a furball's horn gave a toot

Well, we chased 'em back into the forest
And then she was alone at the base
Well I told her not to move
"Put your hands up real smooth,"
But she thought a little faster
And I couldn't see her blaster
She's a short cute princess in fatigues now
Shot me twice with a glint in her eye
Well, the guys in my whole squad, they believe now
That that short cute princess wasn't shy

Leia's Got A Gun

to the tune of "Janie's Got A Gun" by Aerosmith
Posted by Sunnyskywalker

]]> Dum, dum, dum, sweetheart what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it's the sound of my gun.
Dum, dum, dum, sweetheart what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it's the sound

Leia's got a gun
Leia's got a gun
Her whole world's come undone
Because of Vader and Tarkin
What did her daddy do?
What did he put you through?
They said when Leia was arrested
They threw the princess in a cell
Now man, they have it comin' Now that Leia's got a gun
She aims to blast the Empire all to hell.

Leia's got a gun
Leia's got a gun
Her Rebellion's just begun
Now the Empire had better run
Tell me now it's untrue.
What did her daddy do?
He tortured his own daughter
The Sith has got to be insane
They say the spell that he was under Palpy's lightning and his
thunder made him not entirely stable in the brain.

Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away from the pain yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Leia's got a gun
Leia's got a gun
Her Rebellion's just begun
Now the Empire had better run
What did her daddy do?
It's Leia's last I.O.U.
She had to take him down quickly and plot to blow his battle station
She said there's no time for sorrow. The Death Star's got to go.
Please start R2D2's examination.

(Run away refrain)

Leia's got a gun
Leia's got a gun
Leia's got a gun
The Empire had better run

Leia's got a gun
Her Rebellion's just begun
Now the Empire had better run
Because Leia's got a gun
Leia's got a gun
Her Rebellion's just begun
Now the Empire had better run
Leia's got a gun

Leia

to the tune of "Layla" by Eric Clapton (whichever version you prefer)
posted by Sunnyskywalker

]]> What'll you do when you get lonely
And nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been regal and haughty much too long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.

Leia, you've got me on my knees.
Leia, I'm begging, worship please.
Leia, sweetheart won't you kiss your scoundrel now.

I flew you out of Echo Base
When your Rebellion had let you down.
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned my galaxy upside down.

(Refrain)

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I leave to pay my debt.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
I may just be a nice man yet.

You're So Vain

to the tune of the same name by Carly Simon
Posted by Sunnyskywalker

]]> You walked onto the Death Star
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Blaster strategically firing everywhere
Your shooting it was was so hot
With one shot to the holocam and
Another to the comm
And all of the stormtroopers
They ran for cover, they ran for cover, and

You're so vain,
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don�t you?

Well, I hear you did the Kessel Run
In a dozen parsecs, quick
Then you flew the Falcon up to Nar Shaddaa
To deal blasters, spice, and death sticks
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld scum or a cantina floozy
Cantina floozy, and

You're so vain,
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don�t you?

Leia in the Sky with Blasters

to the tune of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by The Beatles
Posted by Joanna

]]> Picture yourself in some stormtrooper armor
While roaming the halls of detention blocks
Fin'lly you find it; the block with the princess
A girl with some lovely brown locks

Stormtroopers coming to blast us to bits
Han and Chewie are stalling
Having enough, the girl blasts through a vent
And we're gone

Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Ah...Ah...

After the destruction of the first Death Star
We stationed our base on the ice planet Hoth
I can see something between Han and Leia
Somehow that's entirely fine
On Dagobah I sense there's something wrong
I fly to the cloud city
As I arrive they are freezing poor Han
And he's gone

Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Ah...Ah...

After I return from visiting Yoda
She's different in my eyes now that I know all
My sister is the girl standing beside me
The girl with some lovely brown locks

Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Leia in the Sky with Blasters
Ah...Ah...

Leia in the Sky with Blasters..............(fade)

I Wanna Know Who Leia Is

To the tune of "I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner.
Posted by The Infinite Force

]]> She showed up in a disguise
Threatened me with a detonator
But then I had a sweet surprise
She's the hot child of Darth Vader

Now I got a feeling so sublime
Could it be some indigestion
No it's my genitles this time
I forgot I even had them

In my life there's been dancers galore
But this girl here isn't no whore
Can't give her Han, but I'll give her my love
She must be from heaven above

I wanna know who Leia is
Her love I'll pursue it
Got a question for Threepio
Can Hutts and girls do it

Now I've got her all dressed up
In a shiny golden costume
We played some tonsil hockey
Then I threw her brother to his doom

In my life Leia's a wonderful gift
Wouldn't trade her for the whole Cron Dift
She even thinks my cooking is great
My sweet Princess, let's conjugate

I wanna know who Leia is
Her love I'll pursue it
Got a question for Threepio
Can Hutts and girls do it

Took her on my barge today
Leia thought my ride was pimp
Gonna make Skywalker pay
Because he called me a fat blimp

Everything was going good
Had my woman at my side
But then she pulled upon her chain
And I keeled over and died

In my life I've had gambling and vice
But out of them all, only Leia was nice
How could you tell me our love was a lie
Maybe it's for the best I died

I got to know who Leia is
Her love I pursued it
At least I found out firsthand
Hutts and girls can do it

Queen of Naboo

To the tune of �Queen of Hearts� by Juice Newton
Filked by Grand Admiral Sean

]]> Lightside.
And you�re the greatest Jedi that�s alive.
It does this ex-Queen�s heart some good just a-knowing that you are mine

Darkside.
Now you're a Sith Lord in disguise;
You will set my heart to breaking
But let�s put that off till some other time.

Playin� with the queen of Naboo,
It�s somethin� that you shouldn�t do.
But Jar Jar ain't the only fool
Who�d buy any line from you.

Laying here tonight I cry,
Thinking 'bout our life of lies.
That's what I have to do
to stay together with you.

Honey,
I know it makes you sad.
Why is everybody always harping on you as the chosen one?
Ani,
I know it makes you mad.
You think you ought to be a master but
The way is blocked by Obi-Wan.

Playin� with the queen of Naboo,
It�s somethin� that you shouldn�t do.
But Jar Jar ain't the only fool
Who�d buy any line from you.

Laying here tonight I cry,
thinking 'bout our life of lies.
That's what I have to do
to stay together with you

Tuskens.
I know you've killed a few
But hide your head beneath my blanket
and tell me they deserved to die.
And younglings�
They say that you just ran them through.
Just lay your head right here beside me and we�ll give our love another try.

Playin� with the queen of Naboo,
It�s somethin� that you shouldn�t do.
But Jar Jar ain't the only fool
Who�d buy any line from you.

Playin� with the queen of Naboo,
It�s somethin� that you shouldn�t do.
But Jar Jar ain't the only fool
Who�d buy any line from you.

Laying here tonight I cry,
thinking 'bout our life of lies.
That's what I have to do
to stay together with you

Playing with the queen of Naboo�

[repeat and fade]

Centerfold

To the tune of the same name by J. Geils Band
Filked by Grand Admiral Sean

]]> Come on!

Master walks
Master talks
Master passed my seat.
His boring, boring lecture kept his ignorance complete.
Classmates pass me something, with glee they can�t contain.
(The memory of that moment will always cause me pain.)
Now I find I�m flipping through PlayNaboo magazine
And there�s a funky Gungan on the pages in-between!

My blood runs cold!
Who knew that Gungan was so bold?
Jar Jar is the centerfold!
(Jar Jar is the centerfold!)

My blood runs cold!
Who knew that Gungan was so bold?

Jar Jar is the centerfold!

Swept it down under my desk.
How to get myself out of this mess?
I was pale I turned away
Hope no one caught my eye.
I was shaking in my robes
Trying to forget that Gungan�s pose.
Then it came right back to me
That image just won�t die!
That soft, fuzzy holo
Some psycho must be touched!
To see him spread across the page
Is really just too much!

My blood runs cold!
Who knew that Gungan was so bold?
Jar Jar is the centerfold!
(Jar Jar is the centerfold!)

My blood runs cold!
Who knew that Gungan was so bold?

Jar Jar is the centerfold!

Naa naa na na na na�.

It�s okay, I understand
I�ve passed it on to other hands.
I note the desk the issue�s on
And see that classmate�s color gone!
Master Gar � Yes he did!
Master Gar had seen it!
Master took it to his desk and asked us all who brought it!
A part of me had just been ripped
The image of a Gungan stripped!
Oh no, I didn�t buy it.
Heck no, of course I will deny it!

My blood runs cold!
Who knew that Gungan was so bold?
Jar Jar is the centerfold!
(Jar Jar is the centerfold!)

My blood runs cold!
Who knew that Gungan was so bold?

Jar Jar is the centerfold!

Naa Naa na na na na�

My blood runs cold!
Who knew that Gungan was so bold?
Jar Jar is the centerfold!
(Jar Jar is the centerfold!)

My blood runs cold!
Who knew that Gungan was so bold?
Jar Jar is the centerfold!
(Jar Jar is the centerfold!)

My Padawan

To the tune of "My Immortal" by Evanescence
Filked by Michelle

]]> I just can�t believe I�m here.
I�ve seen destroyed a heritage of years.
There�s so much dread,
Padme betrayed and dead.
But her words still linger near,
and they won�t leave me alone.

These wounds won�t seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There�s just too much that time cannot erase.

When you turned it pierced and tore me in two,
We fought, and I knew that I had failed you.
As I now question all I must do,
Can there still be� good in you?

You used to be just like a brother always by my side,
Now I�m bound to the son you left behind.
So much of you in him I can see
How dare I hope when it threatens so much fear in me?

These wounds won�t seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There�s just too much that time cannot erase.

When you turned it pierced and tore me in two,
We fought, and I knew that I had failed you.
As I now question all I must do,
Can there still be� good in you?

I try so hard to tell myself that you�re gone.
But while Vader lives on,
I bear this pain in my soul.

When you turned it pierced and tore me in two,
We fought, and I knew that I had failed you.
As I now question all I must do,
Can there still be� good in you?

The Boots

To the tune of "The Rose" by Bette Middler
Filked by Michelle

]]> Some say love, it is a Jedi
who struts and drops his robe.
Some say love, it is a pirate
in leather coat so long.
Some say love, it is a hero
with secret identity.
I say love, it is the footwear,
That�s worn by all of these.

It�s the boots of elven princes,
that give me weakened knees.
It�s the boots of Luke in training,
that make me want to squee.
Even the boots of Daniel Jackson
reach out with their own call.
But the boots of Young Kenobi
they started my downfall.

When JadeCon is in full swing,
and the night is running long.
I confess that I have sometimes
reached to touch the boots of Rogue.
Just remember I�m a Wanton
And my point, it is not moot.
When it comes to my fan focus,
That it�s all about the boots.

Red (Online Fanclub)

To the tune of "Land Down Under" by Men at Work
Filked by the Sirs Dan and Rogue

]]> Traveling to a game convention,
Brought my book, hope to meet Tim Zahn.
I met a Star Lady, she made me nervous.
I asked her what to do for breakfast.

I come from an online fan club,
Where ice and booze fill up the bathtub.
JadeCon's stealin' GenCon's thunder!
You'd better run, you better take cover.

Walked into a bar called "Jessa's"
She was six-foot-four, and full of muscles.
I asked, "could we get a stronger round?"
She just smiled and gave me a Mustafar Meltdown.
And she said,

I come from an online fan club,
Where ice and booze fill up the bathtub.
JadeCon's stealin' GenCon's thunder!
You'd better run, you better take cover.

I.M. from a Canadian Lady:
"They've just cast the TV show Padme!"
I typed back, Are you trying to tempt me?
Because I'm trying to remain spoiler-free.
And she wrote:

Don't be in this online fan club,
Where ice and booze fill up the bathtub.
JadeCon's stealin' GenCon's thunder!
You'd better run, you better take cover.

Total Collapse to the Dark

To the tune of �Total Eclipse of the Heart� by Bonnie Tyler
Filked by Grand Admiral Sean

]]> Turn around...
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely since you're no longer around.
Turn around...
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my breath.
Turn around...
Every now and then I get a little bit morose that the best of all my parts have gone by.
Turn around...
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified when I recall the look in your eyes.
Turn around, Jedi...
Every now and then a conflict starts.
Turn around, Jedi...
Every now and then a conflict starts.
And I want you here tonight; and I want you more than ever; and if you'd only held me tight we'd be ruling all, forever! And we'd only be setting things right 'cause we'd never be wrong together.
Once upon a time I converted to Sith, then Kenobi took me apart. There's nothing I can do, a total collapse to the Dark.
Turn around...
Every now and then you knew I�d never be the Jedi that I really should be.
Turn around...
But every now and then I knew you'd always be the only one who wanted me the way that I am.
Turn around...
Every now and then I hear there's someone in the Galaxy who makes me reminisce about you.
Turn around...
Every now and then I think things might be getting better, as I�ve heard about this young man named Luke..
Turn around, Jedi...
Every now and then a conflict starts.
Turn around, Jedi...
Every now and then a conflict starts.
And I want you here tonight; and I want you more than ever; and if you'd only held me tight we'd be ruling all, forever! And we'd only be setting things right 'cause we'd never be wrong�

Together we could throw down Emperor Palpatine. Rule the Galaxy together till the end of time. You know it to be true, come join me in the Dark. But you hit me in the shoulder now I�m giving off sparks. I really want you tonight, Our reign is gonna start tonight, Father/Son is gonna start tonight.
Once upon a time I converted to Sith, then Kenobi took me apart. There's nothing I can do, a total collapse to the Dark.
Once upon a time I was a hero of Light, now the Night encircles my heart. Nothing I can say, a total collapse to the Dark.
Nothing I can do, a total collapse to the Dark.
Nothing I can do, a total collapse to the Dark.
Nothing I can do, a total collapse to the Dark.
Nothing I can do, a total collapse to the Dark.