Title: "Priorities" Author: Jennifer-Jean Lindlief Email: Hopeless327@aol.com Catagory: The New Republic Keywords: Luke, Mara, Romance Spoilers: may be the Thrawn Trilogy, and very few refferences to other novels, but not many. Rated: R for some sexually oriented material Summary: Luke and Mara have been friends now for eight years. They've been enemies, friends, and everything inbetween. But maybe there's something more there than either of them realize... © 2000 Jennifer-Jean Lindlief Characters copyright by George Lucas, Timothy Zahn, Kevin J. Anderson etc. Basically they aren't mine, I'm just building off of what is already a terrific story line. Author's Note: There are a few guys that have come in and out of my life that have in indirect ways, added to this story. They've shown me inspiration, tenderness, and maybe in their own ways love. But it's the pain that's always made for great writing material. Also thanks to Juli and Luke, my two SWRP friends :) Anywayz, on with the story! "Priorities" Chapter 1 "Mara! . . ." Luke Skywalker trailed an angry Mara Jade as she stormed into the old Imperial Palace, more than a little tiffed at Luke. For the third time that week they had blown up at each other for little more than trivial causes, but enough to put them both into a whirlwind of anger. Mara sent ripples through the Force, radiating her frustration, and choosing to ignore Luke's voice calling from behind her. She walked no more than a swift pace and the persistent Jedi followed closely behind, but he seemed to have learned when it wise to stay back. "Mara, I'm sorry!" he called again. "Forget it, Skywalker!" she waved at a hand at him without turning around. She was making her way swiftly to the guest quarters of the housing facilities, intent on getting some rest before she took off the next morning on the *Jade's Fire.* With a loud *swoosh!* the door to Mara's room flew open, and then closed before Luke could enter. Defeated and anguished, he slumped against the door and sighed, trying to reach out to Mara's emotions . . . but she had put up a barrier. Perfect, just perfect!' Luke yelled to himself. This routine was getting real old and real fast. Mara was leaving the next morning and he hated to let her leave on bad terms, but so be it. If she was going to act like this . . . *Fine!* "It's been great seeing you again, Mara!" Luke yelled through the metal door sarcastically, realizing that she could probably not hear him. Surprisingly, he got a reply back. "Likewise!" He felt an urge to plunge a fist into the wall, but quickly caught himself and tried to run through a simple Jedi calming exercise. The very fact that she was even getting to him this way frustrated him. There was a time when he had confined to an indifference with Mara; not allowed himself to feel angry or perturbed when she antagonized him, but maybe after so many years of the same routine it had finally gotten to him. 'Who needs this?' Luke asked himself. 'Any tries I've ever taken to establish anything more than a business relationship with her have failed miserably. That woman is as tempered as her hair! Try to be her friend and she'll turn you into an enemy . . . Women!' "Men!" Mara yelled back, aloud. This time Luke *did* hit the wall, only vaguely feeling the impact against his whitened knuckles. If he didn't leave here soon he would never find his sanity. In a fury, Luke left the vicinity of the hall he was now standing in to head to his own quarters. 'Time to go back to Yavin,' he thought angrily. Mara felt Luke's presence leave the hall and she scowled as she sat down on the high backed repulsor-chair. This was getting ridiculous. The man was insufferable! Mara had spent this past week on Coruscant, more specifically with Luke. More often than not, they argued, sometimes friendly banter, sometimes more. But what made things so frustrating was that Mara didn't know why they were arguing. She wanted more than anything to be at peace with him, to be closer, but that just didn't seem possible anymore. 'No,' Mara realized. 'It's not a friendship that I want.' After a few minutes Mara couldn't just sit there anymore. She had to do something to let out her stress. 'Damn it, Skywalker!' she cursed him one last time. 'You make things so difficult!' Gathering a few things into a flight bag, she set off to the exercise rooms. Maybe some lightsaber practice would help her a little. Mara grumbled to herself, for the fist time wishing that there was someone around to practice with. Organa-Solo was all right, but she was far too heated to have a 'friendly' match right now. And Skywalker . . . well she didn't even consider him. As Mara left, she growled, "Lights; off," leaving total darkness behind her. As Mara was leaving her quarters, Luke stormed into his apartment and growled, "Lights; on." By now the sun had long since set over the Coruscant city, leaving behind a seemingly endless sky, shining brightly with billions of stars. Stars that Luke would usually marvel under, but now only made him scowl. That's where they had been when this whole fight started; on the roof of the Capitol Building, the formal Imperial Palace. Ever since Luke had given Mara his father's lightsaber, they often found each other up there, remembering times long gone. It was never planned, but was come to be expected almost. There they would talk politely about nothing in particular; everything and nothing. More often than not, though, it ended in an argument. In vain, Luke tried to calm himself down; search for that indifferent side of him once more. And eventually it came. For the second time that night, Luke relived what had happened up on the roof. It had started friendly and casual, both finally calmed from the argument they had two days previous. "I should have seen it coming," he mumbled to himself aloud as he thought. The conversation had drifted to the argument the other day--which was a mistake in itself, Luke thought--and they began to bicker over who had caused it and the original problem resurfaced again. A couple days ago, Luke and Mara had been having a 'friendly' lightsaber match, or so Mara put it, when the issue of Mara's uncompleted Jedi training came up. From there, it turned into a battle of mixed priorities and judgment of character, leaving both swelled with anger. It was, of course, Luke who apologized first, seeing as though it really *was* his fault, and Mara accepted. 'Tonight, though,' thought Luke, '*she* was the one who started it. She was the one who brought it back up. And her priorities *are* out of balance. There's no reason for her not to complete her training, now. She's so close.' Luke sighed and let the thoughts pass. There was nothing he could do about it right now. If it was one thing he had learned over the years it was to not disturb Mara when she was *this* angry; it would just make matters worse. And boy did he have a way at making her angry! With a sigh, he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. But after a half an hour of this, he couldn't take it. He had to call Mara up on the comm. Deactivating the remote, Mara then closed down her lightsaber and rubbed the sweat clean away from her face with the towel she had brought. Perhaps it was not the best dueling partner, but at least the remote didn't judge her priorities or her character. 'Finally,' Mara thought, 'I feel better.' Satisfied, she gathered her things and placed them back into the compact flight bag. It wasn't the fanciest looking thing, but it served its purpose. As she entered her apartment, the holovid flashed a small indicator light at the bottom of the screen letting her know she had a message. "What now?" she grumbled. It was probably flight control telling her she couldn't leave for a few more days, knowing the luck she had been having lately. Luke Skywalker's face appeared with a pitiful, 'I'm sorry' look in his eyes. She managed to push back the temptation to turn it off, and listened to what he had to say. "Look, Mara . . . I'm sorry. Things got out of hand. I didn't mean it, really." Mara could see that he had some trouble in saying that last statement. "It's just that I want you to finish your training; you're so strong in the Force and still have so much to learn, so much control you need to establish." She could hear the sigh that he never let out. "If you're not too angry, I hope that you'll call back. I'd hate for us to have to part on bad terms tomorrow morning." To Mara, he seemed as though he wanted to say something else, but the transmission just ended there. With a sigh and a short grumble, Mara sat down at the comm station and keyed in for Luke's apartment. When his face appeared again, she almost flipped it back off. "Hello, Mara," he said carefully. "Skywalker," she nodded once. Luke looked at her expectantly, but realized that she was waiting for him to say something. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely, letting his defenses down. "Yeah," she looked away, refusing him the satisfaction of eye contact. Luke's forehead creased curiously and he frowned. This was certainly not the reaction he had anticipated. He expected her to yell, or argue, or simply refuse his apology . . . to accept it even, but not this shunning that he was getting, now. "Truly, Mara, I didn't mean it. I--" "Yes you did," Mara said sternly, but uncharacteristically low for her. She turned to look at him, her eyes stabbing at him. "For you to go off the end like that you *had* to have meant it. That's what hurts." Luke froze with sudden realization. Many times he had aggravated Mara, but never before had he hurt her . . . not like this. It showed in her eyes. Maybe deep down, Luke was always the person that she could count on for support. And he had put that hidden trust in check, now. When Luke did not say anything, she smiled sadly and crossed her arms over her chest. "Jade out," she said more coolly than even Mara knew she was capable of. Still in shock, Luke was unable to say anything until it was too late. The transmission ended and Mara's image was replaced by a vast darkness, matching the mood she had already bestowed on him. Mara cursed Skywalker for bringing those feelings back to the surface. She had just gotten them under control and was about to go to sleep. Now she was sure she would have at least some difficulty. After jumping in the shower mostly to clean off, but somewhat to clear her mind, Mara dressed for the night and slipped beneath the blankets of her bed. The gentle hum of the repulsors and generators surrounding her eventually lulled her to sleep, leaving behind all previous grievances and worries. Luke, however, was not having the same amount of luck. The balcony to his apartment did not hold such a spectacular view as the rooftop did, but he lay out there nonetheless, sulking. Mara was a friend. Despite all of their harsh words and feelings, they were friends. And he had hurt her. But was what he said to her really what he thought? 'No,' Luke decided. 'I just let her anger get to me and I said things I didn't mean. Well . . . NOW what do I do?' Mara was scheduled to leave the next morning at daybreak and she obviously would not talk to him. He reached out with the Force to see if she was still awake . . . but no; she felt content and at peace, meaning only that she was asleep. The only thing he could do now was to try and contact her in the morning. She was one of few friends that Luke could depend on these days and he couldn't bear it if she left still angry at him. After all, he never knew when he would see her again. Mara's visits were so fleeting and often unannounced. He would just have to hope that he could catch her before she left the docking bay in the morning. With a strained sigh, Luke walked back into his apartment and collapsed onto his bed, slipping into a deep, dreamless sleep. * * * By the time Mara had awaken, the chrono already read 0830. True, she did not have a set time to leave, but she had wanted to be well into hyperspace by this time. With a muffled curse, she got out of bed and began gathering the few belongings she had in the modest suite. She could feel a tingling in the back of her mind and she instantaneously knew that Luke was probing her. She ignored it, however, trying to believe that it meant nothing. She really was not in the mood for dealing with more of his bantha dung today. After one more quick check, she gathered her flight bag and exited the suite. She had to make a stop to turn-in the room, then she would be on her way to the hangar bay. *And I better not find you there, Skywalker,* she warned bitterly. It would take her a good three standard days traveling in hyperspace to rendezvous with Karrde as it was, and any further time she had to spend here was a waste as far as Mara was concerned. And this 'vacation' had been far from pleasurable. It had been Karrde's idea . . . she would have to talk to him about that. Mara grinded her teeth together thinking about how Karrde had sent her here. "You're losing your edge, Mara. Why don't you take a trip to Coruscant to clear your head." It had been more of a dismissal than a suggestion. Why in the worlds he had decided it, though, Mara would never know. It was highly uncharacteristic of him to send one of his people away just so they could simply 'clear their head.' He was either expecting her to find something here, or there was something going on there that he did not want her to find out about, which seemed highly unlikely. Ever since the time of Myrkr, Mara knew just about everything that Karrde knew, as far as business was concerned anyway. Then what in the Empire had he intended her on finding here? The sounds coming from the hangar bay brought Mara back into reality and she quickly got her clearance before heading to the *Jade's Fire.* 'Good,' she thought. 'No Skywalker.' Perhaps he did get her message after all. It was just then that she felt it again--the probe into her mind. She simply despised it when he did that! And she let him know. *Stop that! You sorry excuse for a--* *Don't go!* he called before she could finish her sentence. *You have to believe me when I say I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of those things, Mara. You're a good friend and I don't want--* *Get out of here, Skywalker!* Even through the Force Luke could hear the bitterness in her voice. *I've got business to take care of.* Mara started up the preflight sequence, aggravated that it would take another five to six minutes before she could lift off. It took a few seconds, but Luke's voice finally came to her again. *Fine.* It wasn't a tone of anger or annoyance, but of defeat. Luke had given up. Mara was taken aback. Luke had given up? She wasn't sure if she was glad or depressed over the situation. Did she really want him to give up? But either way, she was certainly confused. *Fine,* she echoed, putting more sadness in her voice than she had intended. After the preflight sequence had finished, Mara keyed in the turbolifts and lifted out of the hangar bay. To her, the flight to the outer-atmosphere had never seemed longer. For a short moment, she looked out the cockpit to the world below her. It was one large city, the whole planet--an endless mob of technology and politics. Usually it would have looked magical to Mara, but right now it simply looked like a living nightmare. She was just keying in the last coordinates for the jump to hyperspace when a bleeping on her controls caught her attention: a ship, X-Wing class, approaching from behind. Opening the secure comm channel, she cursed into it. "You damn, worm-ridden, son of a Sith! What are you doing?" The comments seemed not to phase him and he answered back, "I've had enough of this. Come back down so we can talk." "I'm already running behind schedule," Mara argued. "Karrde's not going to miss you if you're a few hours off," Luke countered. "Come back down . . . Please," he added more gently. Luke felt the internal struggle going on within Mara but smiled when she reluctantly agreed. "You better make this good, Skywalker. And wipe that grin off your face." Wisely, Luke did not respond, only turning his ship around as Mara did. After both had landed, they met on the landing pad, neither one smiling . . . nor speaking. "What do you want?" Mara finally asked, coldly. "The same thing I've wanted since last night; to apologize." Luke gestured for them to begin walking off the platform and Mara reluctantly did so. In silence, he led her to a nearby bar already filled with chatter and alien musk at this early hour. Several tables attracted groups of Sabacc players of different races, some still dragging over from the previous evening, no doubt. This was certainly the type of place that Mara was used to, but Luke . . . They sat down at a table to the side, her eyes unyielding from Luke's pitiful expression. For once, why couldn't she just soften up? "Look," Luke began after the barmaid had taken their orders for drinks. "I've already said I'm sorry, and I mean it. Yes, I did go off the deep end and I don't know why, really. I'll understand if you can't complete your training . . . if you give me a good reason why," he added carefully. Mara groaned. She should have known. "I'm needed with Karrde. I haven't the time to spend on Yavin finishing some ancient training that I have no use for. The Force serves me well with what I know right now." "Karrde didn't seem to miss you this week, did he?" There was something there in his eye . . . and then it clicked. No, it hadn't been Karrde's idea to send her to Coruscant, or not his idea solely. The tone in her voice when she spoke was cold and spiteful, something that Luke had not even heard when she had still wanted to kill him. "I don't like being deceived, Skywalker." Her expression was stone and unreadable. "If you had asked me to come to Coruscant you may have been surprised. The fact that you had to get Karrde to send me proves something to me." She paused, seeming to be thinking. "You're no better than the rest of them." For a long moment she just stared him in the eyes, sending chills through his spine. He visibly swallowed. Luke wasn't entirely sure what she had meant by 'the rest of them,' but he wasn't sure that he wanted to know. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, and he truly believed that until their first fight three days into her visit. But now . . . now he regretted the decision more than he had ever regretted anything. The only thing Luke could think of as he absently watched Mara leave was how stupid he had been. * * * The mottled sky turned into starlines, and finally into the brilliance that they were; stars. The trip had given Mara some time to cool down, but now as she approached the docking bay where Karrde would undoubtedly be meeting her, the rage began to boil again. It may had been Skywalker's idea, but for some absurd reason Karrde had agreed to it. For the tenth time within the last three days Mara muttered to herself that if Skywalker had just asked her to fly to Coruscant she would have. She had secretly been wanting to see him, anyway. But for him to trick her into going just so he could persist about her uncompleted Jedi training . . . "Men," she muttered lowly to herself, even though there was no one around to hear her. The bay came into view and Mara keyed in the turbolifts, gently setting the *Jade's Fire* down. The whining of the engines came to a halt and Mara sat there while they ran through a post-flight sequence, gritting her teeth together. To the Empire with Skywalker, and Karrde for that matter. They had played her for a fool, thinking that she would not realize what had been going on (and she almost hadn't), and if there was anything that Mara Jade hated it was being fooled. She didn't know how, but she would get them back. *Both* of them. 'For now,' Mara thought, 'I've got to pretend like nothing happened. Besides, any hostility that gets through, Karrde will probably blame on old grudges for Skywalker, as he usually does.' Mara snorted. Did *everything* in her life involve him somehow? The entry ramp of the *Jade's Fire* lowered and Karrde saw a slim figure descend with her usual cat-like grace. "Mara," he greeted warmly, walking to the end of the ramp. "It's good to have you back. It's however unlike you to run off schedule." It wasn't a threat or scolding, just impending curiosity. "I ran into a problem," she said coolly. It wasn't a lie. Skywalker *was* a problem, as far as Mara was concerned. "Ah." The two turned to walk, Mara toting her flight bag. "Sorry to hear that." 'I'm sure,' she thought sardonically. "It couldn't be avoided," she said instead. Karrde just nodded. "I'll need to brief you on everything you've missed. Much can happen in two weeks, as I'm sure you know." "I know," she said evenly. "The sooner I can get back into the swing of the things the better." "Indeed," agreed Karrde. "I'll give you time to rest from your flight, however. May I have anything sent to your quarters?" "No, thank you. When would you like to meet?" Mara came to a halt as they reached the inner hallways of the ship and she turned to look at him. "Business dinner at 1900 standard time," he said simply. Mara just nodded. That would give her about three hours. Mara turned one way while Karrde headed in the other. She absently walked the halls, turning mechanically when she needed. Although she hated to admit it, Coruscant had been a pleasant change to the drab surroundings here. While in business there was only so much room allowed for comfort and style, she knew that, but after a while these same corridors that she saw day after day seemed to scar her mind with conformity and dreariness. Somewhere, deep in her mind, Mara missed those days when she had still wanted to kill Skywalker; the days when she knew adventure. Ever since he had entered her life and she had become "legitimate," things had grown increasingly dull. Karrde didn't seem to miss it, but she sure did. She found herself dealing more and more with papers and records than she did in the field, and even when she was out there making a delivery, the fear of being boarded was gone, leaving behind an inevitable predictability. Mara sighed as she punched in the code to release the locking mechanism of her door and it opened with a *swoosh.* It closed automatically as the lights turned on. 'It's no wonder why Karrde told me I was losing my edge. There's no place to *use* it.' She threw her flight bag down on the floor, not really caring where it landed, and slumped down at her comm/information center. As expected the messages and paperwork had piled up. Mara groaned and rubbed her temples. 'Why am I still here?' she asked herself, not for the first time. She no longer liked the work she was doing, that was for sure. And that left her with two options, really. One, demand reassignment from Karrde, which was just a waste of air. Two . . . Mara scowled at her second choice. That would be her last resort, or so she told herself. "This can wait," Mara mumbled, standing up from the station. Her flight had worn her out more than she thought and she still needed some rest before she was to meet with Karrde. Plopping down onto her sleeping pallet, Mara slept peacefully. * * * "I wish you wouldn't leave so soon, Luke," Leia pleaded with her eyes. "I know," he smiled back sadly. "But I'm needed back at Yavin." *He* knew he was lying, but he hoped that Leia couldn't see it. From the frown on her face, he knew that she did, though. "Very well," she said solemnly. "I understand." Luke kissed his sister gently on the forehead and then moved on to each of the kids. Jacen and Jaina, who were each eight now, seemed to be growing so fast. Luke, too, hoped that he could come back for another visit soon. "Be nice to your sister," Luke smiled and mussed the boy's hair. Jacen smiled his father's lop-sided grin and promised he would. "You too," Luke said to Jaina. She just smiled at him. Little Anakin who was waiting patiently smiled at his uncle. "When are you coming back, Uncle Luke?" "Soon, I promise." Han patted Luke on the back of the shoulder. "Come on, kid. I'll walk you to your ship." Luke nodded. All three kids called to him as he was leaving. "Bye, Uncle Luke!" "Bye," he smiled. Han could hear the sigh escape from Luke as they headed down the corridor and towards the landing pad where his X-Wing was being prepped for flight. "So what *really* happened?" Han asked. "Huh?" Han grinned. "Look, kid, Kyp and Tionne are far more capable of running that academy than you have us believing. Now, I of all people understand the concept of running away from your problems, but just what are you trying to run away from?" Defensively, Luke countered, "What makes you think that I'm running away?" Stopping his steps, Han turned to face Luke. "I may not have that Force capability that you have, but I can still sense when my wife doesn't believe something." Luke sighed. "She hasn't finished her training, either." He said it more to himself than he did to his brother-in-law. "Either?" Han cocked an eyebrow. "What's this all about, Luke?" He turned his gaze back to make eye contact. "Mara; I want her to finish her training but she's arguing that she doesn't have the time, or the desire, to finish it." "Oh, is that it?" he asked, a little too casually. Seeing Luke frown, he added, "You can't force her into it, Luke. She's got to come to you on her own terms, right? Arguing with her isn't going to get you anywhere. Especially with her." He almost rolled his eyes; Luke stifled a chuckle. "I know what you mean. She does have quite a temper, doesn't she?" Han let out a laugh. "Put it this way, I don't envy you, pal." With a smile, Luke continued to walk, Han following. "Anyway, she left four days ago, angry. The thing is, I was the one who told Karrde to send her here and she found out. And you know Mara." Han hissed through his teeth and cocked his head slightly to the side. "Not a good idea, I imagine." "Ah, no," Luke assured him. After a short silence, he felt he needed to explain himself. "It's been great seeing you guys again, but I just need to get back to the academy to clear my mind of everything. And if Mara ever decides to accept my apology, I think that's the first place she'd think to contact me." "I understand, kid. Leia's the one you got to worry about." Luke winced slightly. His sister would undoubtedly be unhappy about this. "Right," he agreed. "Han, would you--" "No way," he said quickly. "I'm not gonna take the heat for this one. You want to explain it, you do it your own way." With a sigh, Luke nodded. Han was right. This visit had only lasted a little over two weeks and the last week had been spent mostly with Mara. Leia had been asking Luke for months, now, to come and visit with the family. And now she would almost surely feel that he was turning his back on them in expense for his own problems. "All right. I'll contact her as soon as I get back to Yavin, then I can send a clear transmission. I just hope she's not too angry with me." "She can fight," said Han, "but she doesn't stay mad for long." "You should know," he mused. Han shot him an annoyed glare. "Yeah, yeah. But the make-ups make it worth it." A lop-sided grin appeared on his face. Luke nearly blushed. "I didn't need to hear that." "Ah, Luke," Han let the grin fade. "When are you going to find a girl of your own? Someone has GOT to rid that modesty from you." "In time, buddy. In time." Han watched the X-Wing take off, only to hear his comlink go off a second later. He picked up the device and switched it on. "Solo." "Han, is Luke still there?" Leia's voice came across. "No, he just took off. Why?" "Oh, no," she sighed. "Mara just called in and was looking for him. I guess I'll tell her to try him at Yavin once he gets there." Han grinned. So she had changed her mind, had she? "Yeah, I guess." "Okay, I'll see you in a few." "Wait, Leia..." "Yes?" Han could hear the uneasiness in her voice. Han paused for a grin and a moment of remembrance. "I love you." Leia smiled into the comlink she was holding. "I know," and after a moment, "I love you, too." * * * (The previous day) ". . . and that's about it," Karrde concluded. Dinner had been anything but pleasurable for Mara. It had consisted of her sitting there quietly, listening to Karrde drone over the business dealings that took place over the two weeks that Mara was not present for. Hardly things that she was interested in, but those that were expected of her to know. Again she silently wondered what in the worlds she was doing here. The credits were good, she couldn't deny that, but she lacked all the passion she once knew. The free spirited--perhaps even reckless woman--was lost, replaced with this shell of pity and restlessness. No matter what it cost her, she would have to do something about it. "Mara?" Karrde lifted an eyebrow. "Yes?" she looked back up at him. "Something on your mind?" Mara bit at her inner cheek. This was it. "Maybe, yes . . . I know what you and Skywalker did." Karrde's face stayed expressionless. "Oh?" Mara snorted. 'Typical.' "Don't pull that with me, I know you too well," she warned. After a pause, she added, "I would like to request a leave. A long one." "A leave?" "I told you not to pull this with me." She glared angrily, not quite believing that she was doing this. "I want to take some time off. But I'm not going back to Yavin 4, not now anyway." Karrde was confused. He had almost fully expected Skywalker to have convinced her otherwise. But if she wasn't going to Yavin . . . "Where will you go?" After a pause, she responded, "Coruscant." A crease forming in his forehead, Karrde thought. It would be contradictory of him to say no. After all, he was going to grant her leave for her Jedi training. "How long will you be needing?" He may have known she wanted a change, but he was not prepared for the answer she gave. Without hesitation this time, she answered, "No less than three standard months." "Three--!" Aghast, Karrde found himself unable to speak, much less protest. Mara was his best. Why in the worlds was she requesting a three month leave? Impatiently, Mara asked, "Well are you going to give it to me or not? I'll understand if you can't, but . . . if you cannot grant it to me I'll be forced to resign." Karrde's mouth fell open. Resign? This was definitely not Mara speaking, it couldn't be. What in the Empire was she going to do on Coruscant. And why?! "Mara, I . . ." With a defeated sigh, he slouched. "I don't want to lose you, but I won't pry." He paused. "Leave granted." Mara nodded. She hadn't really expected him to argue, but she had to put it as politely as possible. "Thank you. Excuse me, I have some things to take care of." Dully, she heard him ask, "When can I expect you to leave?" Mara thought for a moment. There was much she had to do, many people she had to talk to. "As soon as I can make plans to leave. Perhaps tomorrow." Wordlessly, Karrde nodded. The decision finally made, Mara felt content to retire to her chambers. She had too much to do right now, but she would contact Coruscant as soon as it reached morning there. * * * Mara sat there for several minutes staring at the blank screen. This was by far one of the hardest things she had to do. And she didn't even know why she was doing it! With a grumble, Mara finally keyed in for Luke Skywalker's apartment on Coruscant. When she got no answer there, she figured that perhaps he was at the Solo's apartment. As much as she didn't want to, she knew she would have to call there to find Luke. His sister of all people would know where he was. "Organa-Solo," Leia's image appeared on the holo. "Hello, Mara. Is there something I can do for you?" "Actually, I'm looking for your brother," she said matter-of-factly. "He and Han left a few minutes ago for Luke's X-Wing," she said ruefully. "Hold for a moment and I'll see if I can get them on the comlink." Mara nodded a thank you and the screen went blank. 'Great,' Mara thought. 'He's already leaving.' After two or three minutes Leia's image flickered back on with a slight frown. "I'm sorry, Mara. Luke has already taken off. He was heading back to Yavin 4. Perhaps you could try him once he lands." Mara frowned. "Yeah, maybe. Thank you." Leia nodded. "My pleasure." The transmission ended and Mara was left with a choice. She could wait the two or three or four, whatever amount of days it would take for Luke to get to Yavin to contact him, or she could just forget it. Neither options rather appealed to Mara's senses. 'But maybe . . .' Flipping the comm-port on, she tried to remember the frequency of Luke's personal X-Wing. If she could talk to him right now she could get everything into the open and she would at least have more absolution in her decision. Impatiently, Mara tapped her foot against the floor and bit her lower lip while she was waiting for Luke to respond. Finally, his confused response came across. "This is Skywalker." Mara drew in a deep breath, and let it out rather loudly. "Skywalker, this is Mara Jade." "I . . . uh, hello, Mara. What can I do for you?" So that was it; no snide remarks, no smirks of any kind, just a simple, confused greeting. With an obvious effort, Mara managed to bite out, "I've changed my mind." "About the academy?" he asked innocently. "No," she growled. "I . . ." she softened her tone a little. "It's hard to explain. Your sister said you were heading back to Yavin 4?" Confused, he responded, "Yes, I am." She paused. "Do you have to?" "Not really," he responded honestly. A second later, "Why?" Mara sighed, thinking more intently than she wanted to be. "I'm heading back to Coruscant. I'd appreciate it if you'd meet me back there." A smile that Mara could not detect spread across Luke's face. That was the one thing Luke both cursed and praised about these comm channels; unlike holovids you could not see the person's expression. "I suppose I could. You're lucky you caught me before I made the jump. What's the travel time from there to here?" "About three standard days," she said. "I'll see you then." "Right. See you." The static remained for a few more seconds before Mara closed the channel. "Well," she said to herself. "That was easier than I thought." * * * "Unidentified shuttle, please identify yourself and your destination," a female voice broke through the silence. Wearily, Mara responded, "This is personal shuttle *Jade's Fire,* requesting landing at Imperial City spaceport." Another moment of static passed before the female voice came back across. "*Jade's Fire,* you are cleared for platform five-three-zero-three." "Thank you." After all this time, clearance was getting to be rather more of an annoyance than anything. The clouds parted and Imperial City came into view, a bitter-sweet smile crossing Mara Jade's lips. She was--in a sense--starting over again. For whatever reason, her life had been lagging, a feeling that did little to comfort her ever changing emotions. Regardless of the reasons, it didn't matter. Mara was hardly the kind of person to sit around and wait for things to happen, she was the type to *make* things happen. And so she was here. Again. She oriented her ship towards the platform and reduced her speed, keying in the repulsorlifts as she reached the platform. With a gentle *hiss,* the ship touched to the ground and began its post-flight sequence. Through the viewport Mara was able to see Luke Skywalker approaching the ship slowly, a slight smile on his face. 'At least he doesn't look angry,' she thought casually. Leaving the cockpit, Mara gathered her belongings into a flightbag and then pressed the release for the landing ramp. She smiled slightly at Luke's approaching form, thinking that he never seemed to wear anything accept black these days. "Good to see you again," he said carefully. "Likewise." The two smiled at the remembered words. "May I take your bag?" he offered. At this Mara snorted. "No. Thanks, I think I can handle it." Luke would have contradicted, but the smile still remaining on her face told him that she was just chiding. "So . . ." Luke began as they walked towards the turbolift that would bring them down into the building. "What brings you back to Coruscant?" Her expression saddened slightly and Luke wondered if he shouldn't have asked the question. He would have tried a mind probe, but he preferred to get an answer from her before resorting to that. "A lot," she said lowly, staring straight ahead. "Mostly I guess there's nothing keeping me with Karrde right now." Luke nodded understandingly. "Leia has told me that you put in a request for an apartment. Will you be staying long?" She nodded slowly, not speaking. The turbolift door closed behind them. "I see," he said. "Well, it appears that Leia has arranged for you to have one in the Imperial Palace." "In the Palace?!" Mara turned to face him, her face visibly radiating shock. He shrugged. "That's what she said." Silence fell and Mara tried not to squirm in discomfort. She could handle the fighting, the heated arguments, and even the friendly conversation, but when silence came while she was with Skywalker, something always made her skin crawl. Luckily, though, it did not take long for the turbolift to reach the bottom floor. Forgetting that Mara probably knew the building, and the city, better than he, he began to gesture in the direction of the front doors. Mara just flashed him an amused smile, already walking in the indicated direction. The walk to the Imperial Palace was short but very pleasurable. The dusk air was refreshing, seeming to be sending Mara into a much better mood as she absently watched the orange and lavender glow of the setting sun, dotted with the immense air traffic. The doors to the building opened and in a mock gentlemanly gesture, Luke extended his elbow for Mara to take. With a laugh, she linked her arm with his, going as far as allowing him to "escort" her all the way to her new apartment that Leia had arranged for her. As they walked the large corridors, arm-in-arm, in a comfortable silence this time, Luke's mind began drifting. Mara's mood had changed dramatically since he had seen her last. What could account for such change? Why was she here on Coruscant? And more importantly why had she asked Luke to stay? Not wanting to break the silence, Luke kept his thoughts to himself. He knew Mara well; she would tell him in her own way and time. Prying too far would only aggravate her. Besides, he enjoyed the simplicity of their relationship right now, here at this moment. For the simple fact that it did not need to be defined, which seemed to be an internal battle that Luke had been constantly fighting lately. Softly, he heard Mara say, "I know the feeling." A bit embarrassed, Luke muttered a, "What?" Mara smiled sweetly. A smile that Luke felt almost honored to see. She showed it so little. "Sure, Skywalker. I didn't hear anything." All Luke could do was smile back. This time Luke really did have to navigate as he led Mara through the corridors, directing her to an area of the building where the housing quarters were. The apartment was only one floor below Luke's, something Mara found quite odd. And really, the very fact that Mara was even staying in the building seemed odd. "Well," Luke muttered stopping in front of an unfamiliar door. "I guess this is it." The door opened in front of them with a *swoosh* and Mara took in her new surroundings that she would call home for the next three months. The main living area was spacious, self-conforming furniture and throws of various sorts scattered around. Ahead there was a balcony, separated only >from the apartment with a large transparisteel wall, partially covered by a rather old style drapery of some kind. Mara could see only the halo of the sun setting behind the horizon, now. Adjoined to the main room on the right, was the food-prep unit. Also to the right, a hallway. Breaking away from Luke, Mara ventured down the hall, noticing the 'fresher and two other doors. Shrugging, she opened the first door on the left. It was empty. "Must be a spare room," she muttered to herself. The next door would be Mara's bedroom. She dropped her bag next to the wardrobe and storage unit and drew open the drapes of the window. It reached from floor to ceiling, and perhaps three or four meters across. Needless to say, the view was breathtaking. From this height, the city looked so peaceful, so full of life at the same time. It was gorgeous. With a smile, Mara sat down on the edge of the bed, content with the soft give of the repulsors. An empty display case, a night-stand, a chronometer, and a dresser/storage unit were the only other things spread through the room. It was perfect. Clearing his throat, Luke entered the bedroom. Mara turned to face him. "Everything okay?" he asked. "Oh, it's great," she said energetically. "Good," he smiled. "I, uh . . ." he ran a hand through his hair. "You need any other help while I'm here?" Was it just her imagination or was Skywalker turning timid on her? "Well, I've already arranged for my stuff on the *Fire* to be brought here tomorrow. And I don't want to seem like I'm kicking you out, but--" "You're kicking me out," he concluded with a smile. "Right," she stood and shoved him playfully in the chest, causing him to take a full step backwards out into the hallway. "So scat. I've had a long flight." He laughed and walked backwards down the hall with his hands up in an 'I surrender' gesture. "I'll come by tomorrow?" "Sure, why not." Translation: I'll be expecting it. Suppressing a grin, Luke nodded, then turned around to let himself out. "Oh!" he spun around. "I guess you can see that the lock isn't set. I assume you know how to do that?" "Yeah, yeah," she said, half-annoyed. "Stop stalling and get out'a here, Skywalker." "All right, all right!" With that, he left. Alone, finally, Mara was able to collapse and truly marvel in what was now her home. "I think," said Mara to herself, "That I'm going to like it here." * * * The morning glow fluttered in through the window, cascading down in golden streaks across Mara's porcelain features. A loose grin spread across her face and she pulled the sheet more tightly to her, letting out something of a content sigh. Turning to face the window, she slowly let her eyes flutter open, her jade crystals taking in the sight of the early morning city. Private moments like these, Mara liked to enjoy the peace and serenity within herself. So often she had to pertain a hardened, all-business image; times like this were treasures. Her eyes softened, and the hard lines on her face diminished . . . this Mara was soft and beautiful, an image that had not been shared with another in far too long. After a few minutes of laying awake in her bed, Mara pushed away the covers and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge. She dangled her legs for a moment, smiling, and then stood up. The air was a bit cool, but fresh, sending small goose bumps up Mara's arms and legs that were virtually bare. Her sleeping shift was sleeveless, and only covering down mid-thigh. It was a sleek, black silken material, low-cut and revealing, accenting her best features. The somewhat promiscuous life that she had once held, seemed to have disappeared slowly over the years, but Mara still enjoyed feeling sensual and feminine, even if it was only while she was alone. She tied a short robe around her waist and ventured to the food-prep unit. After studying the controls for a few minutes, Mara was able to figure out how to get herself at least some hot tea. "Guess I'm eating out this morning," she mumbled to herself. The hot mug warmed her hands and the steam filtered through her nose before she took the first sip. She wasn't necessarily a groggy morning person, but she had to admit she liked something hot and steaming in the morning. After opening the drapes, Mara sat down on the couch that faced the window and tucked her feet underneath her, watching the air traffic pass by and the lights begin to flicker on, one by one in the nearby buildings. Out of all the places she could have decided to take her leave, Coruscant was by far the liveliest, and that's why Mara had chosen it. Or so she told herself. From an approach in space, the planet looked to be some sparkling, orange jewel. But from down here, it looked crisp and fresh, only an occasional white cloud sparsed throughout the blue sky. It may have been loud at times, and needless to say busy, but from within the confines of her own apartment, Mara thought it was simply enchanting. A bell sounding through the room snapped Mara out of her thoughts and she set her cup down. She smoothed her hair back and made sure she was presentable, then ordered the computer to allow the visitor in. "Good morning, Mara," Luke said brightly as he walked through the door. It closed behind him. The sight of Mara curled up in the corner of the couch, her bare legs bended beneath her, her almost strangely warm smile, and her soft face was enough to stop Luke dead in his tracks. It took more strength than he would have liked for him to regain his train of original thought. Mara cocked an eyebrow as she watched the Jedi. "Something wrong?" "No. I, uh," he snapped back, "I was just wondering if you'd like to accompany me to breakfast this morning." "Sounds good, I'm starved." As she stood, Luke was now able to see her legs in full view and her loose hair that was usually tied back. It gave her a softer image, one that Luke was not used to, but decided instantly that he liked. She wrapped her arms around herself, seeming to fight back a chill. "Just let me get dressed," she said casually. "Sure, want me to wait for you?" Mara shrugged, "If you want." She turned towards the hall and entered her bedroom, leaving Luke alone in the main room. She emerged shortly thereafter wearing one of her typical jumpsuits that clung to her body like a second skin, her lightsaber attached firmly to her belt at her hips. Much a surprise to Luke, she had left her hair down. He watched the long, red-gold tresses shimmer in the sunlight as she moved and marveled at the color. Feeling his stare, Mara became slightly self-conscious. "What?" Luke cracked a smile. "Nothing. You ready?" Dismissing the feeling of insecurity with a shrug, she responded with a simple, "Yeah." The couple ushered out the door and took the turbolift to the nineteenth floor where there was a small cafe open at all hours of the planet's cycle. It was originally set up as a kitchen for after those late night senate meetings, but it had since been opened to the public, though it was still just mainly used by occupants of the Palace. Amidst the lively chatter and soft music, Luke and Mara took seats at an empty booth near the corner, sitting opposite from each other. A holo popped up in the center of the table to take their orders. After giving the small holo their selections, it flickered and then disappeared. Absently, Mara looked around the large hall. It was bright, but windowless, alive with chatter of what appeared to be pilots, politicians, but very few civilians. A lively tune played softly in the background, giving the early morning a good start. She redirected her eyes back to Luke who in turn looked at her. "You come here often?" she asked impassively. He shrugged. "Occasionally," he said just as casually. "Since I'm not on the planet very often anymore, probably not as much as I'd like to. It's nice here." "Yes, it is." A waiter droid came by, placing their food in front of them. Mara looked down at her plate, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. Again, that hair entranced Luke. "Skywalker," she said, "Will you stop swooning over my hair?" With a smile, he replied, "Sorry." She smiled back up at him. "Thanks, though." After swallowing, he muttered a, "Sure." Setting all tension at ease, the meal persisted with friendly conversation, both avoiding all the serious topics. If they were able to keep this peace between them going, great; the longer the better. Luke enjoyed seeing Mara this way--light and carefree, and being able to talk to her as a friend, not as a student or, Force forbid, as an enemy. Unfortunately, though, the inevitable came, and Luke was forced to ask. "Mara . . ." he said slowly, "Why are you here? I mean, I'm glad that you are and all, but . . . why?" The perplexed and serious expression on his face told Mara that now was not the time for sarcasm. If this was ever going to be a leave worth- while she had to try and explain herself, really open up. This, however, was a complicated thing for Mara to do. Uncomfortably, she shifted in her seat, casting her eyes downward. "I needed a break, a change." She sighed. "I'm staying on for three months to, ah . . . reconsider my, how did you put it, priorities?" She looked up and saw that his expression had not changed. She rested her chin in her cupped hand and tapped the fingers of her other hand on the table. "Things have been slow with Karrde," she explained further. "I'm not happy there. Maybe it took my visit here to realize that." Shrugging more to herself than to him, she continued. "So . . . I'm taking an extended vacation to 'find myself' as the younger generation might say." "Mara Jade," Luke finally spoke up. "Do you mean to tell me that your life has become boring?" Mara snorted in good nature. "In simple terms, yeah." A crease formed in Luke's forehead and he paused to think. Something just didn't seem right about all of this. When he did speak, his voice was gentle and reassuring. "What is it, Mara?" Raising her eyes to his, she smiled sadly, bringing her hands down into her lap. Sometimes she cursed the fact that Luke could read her thoughts, other times she would never do without it. And it was only fair, since she could read his thoughts just as easily. Uncomfortable as it may be, Mara truly wanted to open up to Luke. They had known each other for too long to be circling each other in battle stances all their lives. Somewhere along the line, Mara had to let her guard down. "I'm not happy, Luke," she said softly. She had consciously used his first name, something she had only done a handful of times since knowing him. But this time it wasn't used in sarcastic berating, it was used in sincerity and desperation. "Maybe that never used to be important, but it is now. Everything that I once lived for, everything that I found exciting. . . it's just gone. "When Karrde sent me here, I hated him for it. But as soon as I got here and began to relax and little bit . . . Despite everything I said, I really did have a good time. "Speaking of which," she seemed to turn more regretful. "I'm sorry for leaving the way I did, saying those things. I shouldn't have--" "Shh," Luke whispered, cutting her off. He sent soothing thoughts to her through the Force, letting her see that he really wasn't angry, that everything was all right. "I understand. But I'm the one who should be sorry, here." In a moment of weakness, Mara found herself truly speaking what she felt. "I think that we've both spent too much time over the past eight years trying to make excuses for why we've hurt each other." This seemed to strike Luke and he winced inwardly. They had spent far too much time apologizing, and not enough time talking honestly with each other. The reasons as to why, though, seemed to haunt him. "Yeah," he agreed. "Why do you think that is?" Mara shrugged slightly. "I don't know. But I wish we wouldn't because I--" she stopped speaking, trying to gather the words, and the courage, to say what she wanted perfectly. "What I mean to say, is that after all is said and done, I know that you're the one person that I can still always count on. I guess what I want to say, is that I consider you to be a good friend, regardless of what I may project at times." The intensity and the emotion of the words being spoken were the only things that hindered the smile from creeping onto Luke's face. "I know," he said honestly. "And I think you know that I could say just the same of you." "Thanks, Luke," she smiled, and then added, "For everything." "You know," he pointed out, "I could get used to the sound of that." Mara realized what he meant, but surprisingly did not feel the urge to bite out a correction. "Well it IS your name, isn't it?" "I was beginning to wonder," he chided. She grinned. "All right, all right, can we get out of here, now?" Luke had already begun scooting off the bench. "Sure." In a repeat of the previous evening, Luke mockingly extended his left arm. Mara, however, took his hand instead, interlacing her fingers with his. The gesture somewhat surprised Luke, but he smiled and squeezed her hand gently as they began walking out of the cafe. "Where to?" he asked Mara as they continued walking aimlessly. She sighed and swayed their arms back and forth. "Back to my apartment; I've got a lot of stuff to do today. Care to help a damsel in distress?" He chuckled. "Sorry, but I can't quite picture you as the 'helpless female' type." "Ohhh!" she nudged him playfully in the side. "I'm askin' you for help. You going to give it?" "For you . . . anything." The statement was sincere, but the new closeness she had with Luke still made her feel slightly uncomfortable. They had spent eight years circling each other, only to come to the conclusion that they actually *were* friends. And now, this close physical contact, the emotional openness, it was a dramatic change from their previous position. The compassion that passed between them now was something so completely different from anything else that Mara had ever known. Very few people in her life she considered to be true friends, and none that she felt as close with as she now did with Luke. A few times in the past they had confided in each other, had serious conversations about life and all that came with it. Though few and far in-between, those conversations were usually long and intense--times that stuck out amongst the rest. Mara smiled to herself, leaning a bit closer to Luke. She didn't know exactly how to define her relationship with him, or whether he could define it either, but she suddenly did not care. All she knew was that she had found a new friend, who had always been a friend. Complicated as it all was, it was just that simple. * * * Luke groaned as he collapsed next to Mara on the couch. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes as he brought his legs up to rest on the low lying table in front of them. "I thought Jedi didn't get exhausted," Mara poked fun at him. Luke snorted. "I made an exception just for you." "I'm touched," she replied, wryly. "But thanks, Skywalker. You saved me a lot of work." The process of getting all of the crates into the apartment was not the problem, it was more of the unpacking process that had drained both of them. They had wisely done Mara's food shopping before hand, knowing that after unpacking they would be quite worn out. All in all, it had been a long day. "My pleasure," Luke mumbled as he began to massage his forehead. "Come here," Mara gestured for him to sit closer. She turned him so he was facing away from her and gently rubbed his temples. The tension seemed to leave his head, then follow through down to his shoulders and the rest of his body. He groaned, this time contentedly. "Thanks." She said, "It's the least I can do." More at ease, Luke laid back and rested his head against Mara's shoulder. The calming sounds of her breathing and the accompanied rise and fall of her chest comforted him further. A rumbling in his stomach broke him from his peace, though. "I'm getting hungry, how about you?" "Yeah," she agreed. "How about we order in? I don't feel like prepping anything tonight." Luke agreed humbly, "Good idea." He sat up, then stood slowly. "How about I go down to the cafe and bring something back up? It'll be faster." "Yeah, fine. Just hurry, I'm starved." "Yes, miss Jade," he bowed cordially, coming up just in time to catch the pillow that Mara had thrown at him. He smiled and tossed it back, and then left. Mara snorted to herself. "A scoffy Jedi, just what the galaxy needs. Men, I swear." She shook her head, rolling her eyes. This was definitely shaping up to be an interesting three months. * * * "I know!" Mara exclaimed excitedly as she bolted up from the couch. "Let's stay up all night and watch old holovids. We can camp out on the floor and have ourselves a little carpet picnic!" Luke laughed from his sitting position on the couch. "What?!" "Oh, come on, Skywalker. Lighten up." "*You're* telling *me* to lighten up? Now I know I've entered another dimension." Mara smiled and kneeled down on the floor next to him, resting her arms on his knees, and then her chin on top her arms. "Come on," she urged. "It'll be fun. Just you and me. It'll give us a chance to make up for lost time." Luke stared down at her curiously. Mara . . . and him . . . all night . . . watching holovids? It didn't seem real. The past day had been amazing. Their revelation in the morning had given them the freedom to be close to each other, both emotionally and physically. Perhaps somewhere deep down, they were both trying to make up for a lost era of their lives. At a very young age, Mara had been taken from her home, void of almost all prior memories. She had been trained to be an assassin, and her mind twisted. Needless to say, she didn't have time for a normal childhood. Luke, on the other hand, had lived a fairly normal life for a farm boy on the Outer Rim territories. However, when he was only eighteen, he was faced with the horrible deaths of the only family he had ever known--his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. A few days later, he had joined the Rebel Alliance. Ever since then, things had never been "normal" again. He wondered if they ever would be. Well, now was his chance to be normal. "Sure," he smiled brightly. "Good." Mara stood back up and pulled Luke up with her. "Now make yourself useful and go get us something to munch on." She pointed towards the prep unit. "I'll find something to watch. Any requests?" He had already begun walking towards the unit. "I'm curious to see what kind of things you like, so you pick. I'll pick the next one. Deal?" "Deal." After a few minutes of preparation, strategically placing pillows on the floor and against the couch, spare blankets strewn about everywhere, Luke and Mara were finally ready to start the holo. Snacks of all kinds were placed in bowls and various containers between them as well as a bottle of wine and two glasses that were already filled. Bare feet were outstretched and covered warmly with thermal blankets, backs slumped comfortably against the restraints of the couch. The lights went dark and the holovid began. The beginning was rather slow as far as Luke was concerned, but after that, the story seemed to capture his attention. The plot was intricately weaved, a combination drama, comedy, and love story. Luke wouldn't have pinned it as being Mara's type of thing, but he thought it interesting to see a more intimate side of her tastes. Towards the middle of the holovid, Mara let her torso lean in closer to Luke. Delicately, he draped his arms around her waist and she moved the wine and bowls aside. She leaned comfortably into his chest and felt his chin rest on top of her head, his hands flat against her stomach. Her smaller, almost petite hands covered his and she smiled. "Luke?" she said softly. "Hmm?" he mumbled, still very much concentrated on the holo. "Don't you think that our relationship with each other has turned out kind of strange?" Luke smiled. "Very," he agreed. "But I like it this way." He kissed the top of her head. "Don't you?" She grinned. "Yeah." They remained quiet. Mara, already seeing this holo a dozen times, began to think to herself. This was by far the most unique, wonderful relationship that she had ever had. It was something deeper than what friendship could most commonly be defined as, but not quite deep enough to go beyond that. They held each other, felt the warmth of the other's body, had spent an entire afternoon and evening together, but never stopped to think just once about why. It had somehow just felt completely natural, as if they had always done the same. There had been a time in Mara's life when friends were unimportant. There were associates, and there were enemies, nothing else. After the incident at Mount Tantiss however, things had taken a sudden turn for Mara. Her relationships with people in general grew stronger, more significant, and with Skywalker more than the others. It hadn't necessarily grown closer or friendlier, but definitely more intense. They were either at each other's throats, or drowned out by laughter. Everything about their relationship was extreme--there were no shaded areas. And thus, why their new friendship reached the limits of friendliness, and pushed the restraints of a love affair. The thoughts weren't meant to pass-on to Luke, but from the way he stilled, Mara knew that he had heard. He inhaled a deep breath, held it, and then exhaled slowly. "What is it?" Mara asked. "Just thinking," he replied simply. "You mean, listening to *me* think." He replied monotonously, "Something like that." Mara fidgeted uncomfortably. "Come on, you have to agree. Nothing about us has ever been quiescent, apart or together." "From one extreme to the other," he said, a grin threatening to break through. "Well . . ." she said mysteriously. "*I've* been to one extreme at least, and we've reached pretty close to that same point with each other, however . . ." She grinned mischievously in the dark. Luke chuckled. "Right. That would make it to the Outer Rim in less than a standard week. Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, and Mara Jade, trader, begin love affair. I can just see the headlines, now." Mara joined in the laughter. "Could you imagine the look on your sister's face?!" "Or Karrde's!" Luke pointed out with a chuckle. "And just about anyone else with a sane mind." By now Mara had squirmed out of Luke's arms and sat up to face him. They laughed together, poking jokes at what seemed to be an absurd future. "No one ever said we were sane," Luke mused. "Consider the facts; an overview of our relationship. There's no way in the Empire that we're sane!" "No way," Luke echoed. After their laughter had subsided, Mara made the effort to back-track the holo to the point where they had left off. Neither one was very interested in it anymore, though. Wrapped in Luke's warm embrace, Mara found the drowsiness of the day finally catch up with her. She laid back comfortably into his chest, her forehead resting against his neck, letting his deep breathing patterns lull her closer sleep. "Luke . . .?" she half whispered. "Hmm?" Mara took one of Luke's hands and brought it to her lips, kissing his palm softly. His fingers curled slightly, obviously not expecting such a tender gesture from her. She wanted to say something about how much he meant to her, or what their relationship meant to her, but it seemed that any such explanation would sound ridiculous. Mara wrapped his arm around her neck and she closed her eyes. "Nothing." "I know," he whispered. If she intended on keeping any secrets from him, she would have to do a much better job of maintaining her Force barriers. "You're tired," he stated matter-of-factly. "Why don't you get some sleep?" "Mmm." With that, Mara fell asleep. Luke stared down at Mara's sleeping form and smiled. His lips pressed gently against her forehead, lingering for only a second as he realized how completely suggestive this may have looked to anyone else. Laughing to himself, he pulled the blanket over the both and turned off the holo. With as little movement as possible, Luke laid down with Mara wrapped in his arms. Neither woke until morning. * * * A vague sense of awareness came into perception as Mara stirred in Luke's arms. His initial reaction was 'Oh, gods, what did I do?' until the recollection of the previous evening came to him piece-by-piece. Letting out a breath, he closed his eyes and tried to rid the rest of the sleep from his body. Once fully aware, he delicately released himself from under Mara's arms, laying her gently against the floor. He tucked a pillow underneath her head and she cradled to it in her sleep. Smiling, he stroked the hair away from her face. Somehow he knew that this was not a side to Mara that was often seen. She was a very beautiful woman, and--Luke realized--probably very voracious when it came to sex, but the more genteel, delicate side that he saw to her now, he knew was something very special. Thinking along those lines brought reality back to Luke. The revelations and the obstacles that they had both overcome the previous day were nothing less than phenomenal. They were so open, so comfortable with each other. How could they have ever spent eight years taking side-swipes at each other? It was true that neither one really meant to inflict pain, either emotionally or physically upon the other, but at times it came damn near to being that way. There were times that both he and Mara would have wanted nothing else than to take a physical blow to the other, but those were usually the times that they had hurt each other the most emotionally. It was true that they never actually set out to hurt the other, but it happened. Life happened. No one had the effect on Luke that Mara did. Whether it be for better or for worse, she always made his life more interesting. "That's an understatement," Luke mused softly, out loud. At times he thought he'd be better off with a vornskr. But that wasn't now. Now . . . No words could do justice. He felt a compassion, a fondness for Mara that he had never known before. It wasn't necessarily passion, or love, but something of a trust and content in her presence; a friendship, and a very special one at that. After all, how many friends spent the night in each others arms, literally *sleeping* together? One thing that Luke could not explain, though, was the close Force connection that he felt with Mara. He had always thought that he shared a special bond with Leia, but even he could not read her thoughts or emotions so strongly. Perhaps Mara just seemed to radiate them more clearly? But she could also read his just as easily. 'Then again,' Luke thought, 'She *was* the Emperor's Hand. That could have a lot to do with it.' Mara stirred and pulled the blanket more closely to her chin. The sunlight reflected against the gold in her hair and shone like a halo around her seemingly innocent features. Sometimes it was hard to believe what lurked behind that beauty. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Sensing that she would be sleeping for some time still, Luke decided he would make himself useful. The food preparation unit was simple but convenient, and since Luke had gone food shopping with Mara yesterday afternoon, he already knew what she did and didn't have. He shrugged, then ran a hand through his hair once before rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. Per Mara's suggestion, he had changed out of "that hideous black tunic" and into a simple, white button-down shirt last evening. With his black pants and tousled hair, he almost looked like Han. He shrugged again, figuring it was a sign that he was loosening up. Something that Mara had always nagged him about. Being too preoccupied is never a good thing for a Jedi to be. And after nearly seventeen years after his first brush with the Force, Luke never thought that he *could* be preoccupied. So when Mara snuck-up behind him, causing him to jump at her touch, he was genuinely surprised. Mara laughed and leaned up against the countertop, crossing her arms triumphantly over her chest. The confusion on Luke's face was priceless. She smiled. "Cute," Luke said wryly. "I don't know how you managed it, but cute." She shrugged. The awkwardness of the situation hit them both at the same time. The previous evening, and even the entire day, had been great, but all of a sudden it seemed as if they didn't know how to act around each other. 'I'm getting soft,' Mara thought to herself. She had cuddled up into his arms and fallen asleep for goodness' sake! She couldn't remember a time when she had ever done that. Not even when sex was involved. The thought passed quickly when she sensed, more than saw, Luke's uncomfortable squirming. "I, uh--" he stumbled, running a hand through his hair. "Thanks for letting me crash here last night." One corner of Mara's mouth lifted slightly. "It was fun." He smiled at her. "Yeah." Once the embarrassment seemed to pass, Luke and Mara returned to their own selves; the light-hearted bantering, the sarcastic comments, the playful jabbing. Mara joked about his cooking; he chided her about her morning appearance (which in all honesty he thought was spectacular). Mara grinned, hearing his silent comments, but did not say anything. If she could stay in tune with him without his knowing, it could prove to be quite useful in the future, no doubt. The comm station buzzed and Mara excused herself from the table. The holovid flashed for an incoming message and she sighed. Color washed over the blackened screen and an image of Leia Organa Solo came into view. "Hello, Mara," she said politely. "I hope your quarters are satisfactory." The return reply was something that Leia was not prepared for. Brightly, Mara smiled. "Yes, it's wonderful. I must thank you for this. It really wasn't necessary, though." Trying to hide her shock at the more than pleasant reply, Leia smiled. "It was the least I could do." "So . . . what can I do for you this morning?" "Actually," Leia was apprehensive, "I'm looking for Luke. I can't reach him at his apartment, and I can't get a Force link with him. Could you . . ." It took all of Mara's self control not to burst out into giggles. The irony of this situation was just too funny. She wondered what Organa Solo's reaction would be when she found out where Luke was. "You mean, could I try and call him through the Force?" "Well . . . yes. I know you've always seemed to connect better with him on that level than I have." "I can do better than that," she smirked. "Hey Skywalker!" she turned her head towards the dining table. Leia's eyes widened as Luke stepped in front of the comm station. "Hey, Leia," he said casually, standing next to Mara. "What's up?" Luke's appearance was somewhat questionable; his hair mussed and his clothes wrinkled. She glanced over at Mara and found the same image. She seemed to grow pale and blush at the same time. It took her a few stunned seconds before she could respond. "I, uh, if this is an inconvenient time.." Luke tried not to laugh, but could not help it. "No, Leia, it's all right. What is it?" Mentally shrugging, Leia continued. "It seems that Tionne has been trying to reach you but hasn't been able to get through. You were supposed to check in with her?" "Oh! I completely forgot!" Luke cursed himself. He had promised Tionne that he would check in close to three days ago. He had just been too preoccupied. Mara sent to him, *Don't make a habit of that preoccupation, Skywalker. Never know what crazy is going to try and sneak up behind you.* *You said it, I didn't.* *Don't you insult me, Skywalker.* With as much sarcasm as he could muster, he sent back, *Oh, I would never . . .* The mental battle went on for some time before they turned to glare at each other. Leia looked on in confusion. From the wincing and almost imperceptible body language she knew something must be going on, but she could not for the life of her realize what. A fire burned in their eyes that reminded her of how she and Han glared at each other just before Hoth. "Hey you two," Leia interrupted them and they both quickly snapped to face the comm port, slightly embarrassed. She raised her eyebrows, mostly at Luke. "I'll contact Tionne right away, Leia," he said simply. "Sure. I'll talk to you later, Luke." He nodded once. "Bye, I love you." "Love you, too." The comm screen went blank. There was a moment of silence before Mara and Luke broke out into a verbal battle, more heated than their usual, playful spats. Their voices seemed to escalate as the words came more harshly and more intended to wound. The crazy thing was, though, they couldn't pin it down to as why it had started. "Get out!" Mara finally screamed, shoving him in the chest so he tumbled back a step. "What?!" "Get out!" she shoved him again. "Get out of here and get out of my life." It crossed her mind to ignite her lightsaber, but better judgment quickly took over. "No, Mara," he said sternly. "Not this time." Luke caught her wrist in mid air before she could strike him again. Her eyes were ice and he matched her stare, his eyes unmoving as his chest heaved up and down. They stood like that for several moments--silent, infuriated, but too angry to speak. When the rage had passed, settling instead into a hard bitterness, Luke released Mara's arm. They did not move apart, did not remove their glances; they only stood there, daring the other to say something. All the frustration, all the venom, all the spite seemed to rapidly boil to the surface, then, seeing what it had accomplished, retreated into its dull resting place in the back of their consciousness. The lines around their eyes softened and their temperaments eased at the same time, replaced now with regret and remorse. Mara shut her eyes slowly and heaved a gentle sigh. She thanked the Force that Luke understood, and felt his arms wrap around her shoulders gently. He sighed and whispered, "I'm sorry, Mara," into her hair. After a moment's hesitation, she brought her arms to Luke's chest and replied wearily, "Me too." "How do we manage to do this?" he asked, resting his forehead against hers. "Do what?" "Tear each other apart like this." Mara swallowed hard and opened her eyes. The question had plagued her for months, maybe even years. No one could aggravate her the way that Luke Skywalker could, but no one else could ever comfort her the way he did. She answered the only way she knew how. "I wish I knew, Luke . . . I really do." Luke had come to realize that Mara only used his first name when she truly meant what she said, when she was completely overwhelmed with emotion. Now was one of those times. "Me too," replied. He kissed the top of her head before letting her go. "I've got to send a transmission to Tionne. Do you want me to come back?" His eyes were hopeful. The thought rather amused Mara. She hadn't even considered the possibility of them *not* spending the day together. Her reply, though, was cool, giving no hint to her disposition. "Sure." He grinned inwardly, knowing full well what she was thinking. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her softly on the forehead before leaving. 'Well, that,' Mara thought, 'was certainly interesting.' * * * When Luke returned, the mood was still rather somber and quite thoughtful. Though they remained more or less silent with each other, their deep understanding of the other's mind allowed them to communicate more than words could ever. And they were thankful for that. Quietly, with her gaze turned somewhat inward, Mara stepped out onto her balcony, leaning her back and elbows up against the stone wall that served as a railing. She tilted her head back and stared up at the sky, taking in the fresh late morning air. Luke followed her out, bowing his head as he leaned against the stone next to her. Tentatively, Luke reached out to Mara's mind, fully prepared to get slammed by those barriers she so carefully tended to. Instead, he found her more than willingness to let him in. Slowly, with a sense of care, she allowed him to see her thoughts, know what she was thinking. Her mind was not so much clouded with specific thoughts, but more of just jaded emotion. Realization, content, sorrow, confusion--all emotions seemed to surface at the same time. Closing her eyes to the warm blanket of serenity Luke wrapped around her, she suddenly felt at peace with herself. She could feel the nuances of his mind as he entered hers, the unique sensation of hearing his thoughts and emotions--all his own sensations and feelings flooding her own being, becoming almost indistinguishable against hers. 'This is different,' Mara said to herself, but knowing that Luke could hear. 'This is different than before.' They'd had brushes with this type of thing before, but never had they been so meshed, so fully aware of the other's senses. Almost reluctantly, Mara stood herself upright and opened her eyes, finding Luke's gaze already fixed on her. Gently, and very, very carefully, they retreated, almost intimidated by the close, personal connection they had just made. The emptiness the withdraw created nearly made Mara wince. Mara could see something in Luke's face that was uncharacteristic of him. Was that . . . shock? "Mara . . ." he spoke reluctantly. "I wasn't even touching you." Not quite understanding, she furrowed a brow. "Don't you see?" He took one step closer to her, close enough so that she could *feel* his presence, even without a conscious Force effort. She gasped slightly at the sudden rush, her eyes widening in surprise. "I've never come across anything like this before," Luke said, more seriously. "I mean . . . yes, I can do that with Leia if there's some physical contact, but it's never, *ever* been so strong." As if to further convince her, Luke took a few steps backwards, and the tension Mara had felt left slightly, but surprisingly still remained to an extent. She heaved a heavy breath and opened her mouth several times to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, she managed to mutter, "How?" Luke shook his head, as if expressing his own disbelief. "I don't know. It could have something to do with your training with the Emperor, or . . . I don't know." He stepped forward again, this time taking Mara's hand. A surge of electricity flowed through them both and it took much strength for her not to pull back. She seemed to tremble slightly, suddenly feeling faint. Luke placed a hand around her waist to balance her, his eyes showing concern. The close physical contact only made matters worse for Mara. "Whoa there, lets get you inside." Bringing a hand to her forehead, she nodded. Mara settled herself on the couch inside with some assistance from Luke. She would have smiled at him, but her shock was too overwhelming. As his touch retreated, the lightheadedness recoiled and she felt somewhat relieved, but also very empty without it. The awareness that the sensation created was so immensely overpowering, that when it left, it created a rush just the same as when it had first penetrated her mind. "Luke, I'm dizzy," Mara said, very matter-of-factly. "I know, me too." Mara sighed and leaned her head against the back of the couch, resting the back of her hand against her forehead. She stared at the ceiling absently. "How?" she whispered again. In confused defeat, Luke slumped into the corner and buried his face in his hands. "I don't know, but I don't think I want to know right now." Mara sat up and looked at him, her voice becoming more hard. "What makes you say that?" Luke brought his hands back down and stared at her absently. "I think we've encountered enough change in the past couple days as it is. And this is getting too deep, too fast, even for me." The tone in his voice told Mara not to argue. "Right." After letting out a deep breath slowly, the last remains of dizziness left Luke's body. The impression, however, remained with him. "I think," he said, "That it would be best if we take a break from all of this." His eyes turned soft, hoping that she would understand. "I think you're right." *Thank the Force.* She continued, not hearing his comment. "This is too much, too fast. It's just getting . . . weird." Luke snorted. "When has anything between us *not* been 'weird?'" Playing along, she smiled. "Point taken. But I'm getting tired of you. Shoo!" Mara pointed to the door. Luke just laughed as he made his way to the exit, his back towards Mara. "See you tomorrow, Mara." "Count on it." * * * Luke's favorite cantina in Imperial City rested in the heart of its immense structure. Lights flashed, speeders roared, and air traffic was a swarm. But no matter the hustle, it was a place where he retreated to remember old times long gone. Times before he knew of the Empire; of the Force. Lively music played in upbeat tunes as Luke entered the large building. It was nothing like the Mos Eisley cantina where he had first met Han Solo and Chewbacca, an event that would forever change his life. This, instead, was larger, and far less dangerous. Luke snorted when he remembered the close call he had that day on Tatooine. Ben Kenobi had saved his life then. That was seventeen years ago. 'Was it really that long ago?' Luke asked himself. But as he looked down at himself, remembering all the pain, all the obstacles, and all the changes he had overcome, he knew that it had been even longer in his mind. Sometimes the stain of the Dark Side still lurked beneath him, threatening to come forward. *Forever will it dominate your destiny.* The words rang over and over in his head. It would always be a threat. Putting himself at ease, Luke seated himself at a booth, away from the general crowd. He tried to remind himself that these thoughts were in themselves a part of the Dark Side. Or were they? Were the feelings themselves the Dark Side, or was it only when those feelings were acted upon that was the Dark Side? There were so many unanswered questions in Luke's mind, so many ponderous thoughts. He wondered if he would ever be able to ask them. Both his former Masters, Ben Kenobi and Yoda had left him. Ben had said his final farewell all of eight years ago, almost nine. That was just before the Wayland incident, before the cloning cylinders, and before Mara. Mara. The name still mystified him. It was one word, one name, but it never ceased to cause Luke's mind to wander . . . and wonder. It had been eight years since he first met her; since that day he had stranded himself in the middle of space with a cracked hyperdrive. She had wanted to kill him then. Sometimes he felt that she still did. From his own experience with the Emperor, he knew how overwhelming his power was. He couldn't really blame Mara if she still had those intentions. At times, and especially recently, he had brushed upon old memories in the back of Mara's consciousness. He saw the last image he had projected for her, and his last command. *YOU WILL KILL LUKE SKYWALKER.* Luke sighed as he took a sip of the drink that the waiter droid had brought him. It had been many years since Mara showed any serious intent on taking his life, but would that last forever? He wasn't afraid of any attempts, no, he could easily handle those. He was more afraid of their still volatile friendship turning sour. *Fear, anger, aggression; the Dark Side are they.* Fear. But was it fear? Or was it more concern? Fondness? With a frustrated sigh, Luke shook his head. It was just one of those many questions he would never get to ask. 'And what about this morning?' Luke asked himself. Upon all his years with using the Force, never had he seen or experienced such a thing. The bonding, the ties that their minds had formed were unbelievably strong. It was almost as if they had joined to become one being; it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended. And then of course when Luke had retreated, it had created such a hollow . . . Luke turned his awareness inward, trying to follow the same path that he and Mara had taken to form such a tight connection. But it was empty there without her. Luke pursed his lips together and opened his eyes. Why hadn't he ever touched upon that part of his mind before? Why hadn't Mara? Or even Leia, Kyp, Streen . . . any of the other Jedi? It frustrated him to no end. After taking time to calm himself, Luke finished his drink and left the cantina, paying his bill on the way out. Usually, he would have stayed longer, but his mind was too busy. That, in itself, was a rather strange feeling to Luke. His mind was usually void of most conscious thought; he let his instincts do all the work. But now . . . now there was something to think about. 'Or someone,' he added, as if it were mechanical. Luke shook his head as he walked down the street. He wasn't sure if he liked the fact of Mara invading his every thought. The recent turn in their relationship had been so sudden, and he was afraid that it was only temporary. Somehow, the Mara that he saw yesterday didn't seem to be at all like the Mara he had grown to know over the years. The Mara he knew was cynical and practical, never letting emotions cloud the way of a decision. The Mara he saw the previous day had been light and carefree, and uncharacteristically emotional. And to tell the truth . . . he wasn't sure which Mara he liked better. It just seemed like there had been too dramatic a change in so little time. Was she trying to prove something? Maybe running away from something? Yes, that was likely. She was running away from a life she didn't want. That was why she came to Coruscant, and that's why she, herself, had changed. 'I suppose,' Luke thought, 'that the real question is whether she's really changed, or whether it's just a temporary escape.' And again, he didn't know which he would prefer. *Always in motion is the future.* So why was he thinking so intently about it? Maybe it was because within the past couple of days, Luke had grown too close to Mara for his own good. If she were to leave . . . Luke quickly banished the thought. Mara had told Karrde that she would be gone for three months. For her to go back before that would be absurd, and in an indirect sense, dishonorable. When Mara Jade said she was going to do something, she was going to do it, no matter what it took. 'Except,' he thought amusingly, 'Vowing to kill me.' Then again, it hadn't really been *her* desire, but that of the Emperor. Luke's footsteps echoed in his ears as he continued down the streets of Imperial City, lost in his own thought, but still aware of his surroundings. The wind blew gently, catching the sandy color of his shirt in the uplift. The color had brought out the blonde hues of his hair, and the blue in his eyes. For some reason, black hadn't appealed to him that day. 'There's another question,' mused Luke. The "all Jedi must wear black" idea was really starting to nag Luke. He hadn't even paid much mind to it until last evening when Mara had made several comments about him constantly wearing black. So this morning, after he had contacted Tionne and gone through a cycle in the 'fresher, he had put on the light colored, button-down shirt, and the rich brown trousers he now wore. The lightsaber at his left hip and the haunted look in his eye were the only signs of the Jedi that he was. Right now, he looked more like the farm boy of an Outer Rim world. Deep in the back of Luke's mind, a silent desire lurked. The desire for adventure, for fun . . . for something new. 'A Jedi craves not these things,' Yoda had said. Most of the time, Luke felt perfectly content with his life at the Jedi Academy on Yavin 4. But there were times, times like these, when Luke wanted nothing more than to be able to forget all of what he had learned and just *live.* Maybe Mara had the right idea. She was fully capable of becoming a Jedi anytime she wanted, and she definitely had the time, now. And yet she chose not to. Perhaps she had seen more clearly than Luke had originally thought. Luke winced as he remembered how terribly he had acted towards Mara when she had said that she did not want to complete her training right now. Looking back now, he realized that it had been a selfish request. He didn't care if Mara was really training, he just wanted her company at the Academy. Out of all his friends and family, she was the only one who could ever keep him on his toes the entire time she was around. And he needed that right now. He and Mara were probably more alike than they sometimes realized. But at least Mara had an escape, now, when her life had taken a turn that she did not want. Luke on the other hand, still had obligations. 'What obligations,' he grunted to himself. 'The Academy is doing fine without me.' Although he liked the idea, in many ways it disturbed him. He wasn't needed anywhere anymore. Kyp and Tionne could handle everything just fine without him. 'So why don't I just stay here?' If he wasn't needed on Yavin 4, at least Leia and the rest of his family would love to have him around. 'Mara, too,' he added, almost reluctantly. Luke sighed. The only other time he had encountered such a strange relationship like the one he had with Mara, was the one he had with Leia before knowing their ancestry, before she fell in love with Han. There had always been a special connection that they shared, but it had never been enough to pursue a romance. Luke smiled to himself. "If I find out she's my long lost cousin," he muttered aloud, "I may very well kill myself." But why? What exactly did Mara mean to him? There were so many things about her that compelled him to think that there was something stronger there than friendship, but so many things that hindered those feelings from turning into actions. He had seen Mara for her this morning, the real essence of who she was. He had seen her mind and her soul. Could she be having the same conflicting thoughts about him? He quickly brushed the thought aside. The very idea of Mara having romantic feelings for him was absurd. They had said so themselves last night. In so many ways, they could make a good pair, but in so many others, they could never. She had spent a collective five years plotting his death. That kind of intense hatred just didn't vanish, even if it *had* been eight years since then. There would always be a small piece of it around. And even if for just that, they could never be together. Luke finally reached the Imperial Palace and sighed as he entered the immense building. He really rather wished Mara wasn't in the same building right now. He didn't know if she could sense his presence, or even go as far as to read his thoughts, now. As Luke rode the turbolift to his apartment, his thoughts began to drift to the previous evening. Mara had fallen asleep cuddled up into his chest, so soft and delicate. The soft skin of her forehead was tucked into the nape of his neck. He had stayed awake for some time, observing the woman that had once seemed so very distant from him. There, though, she had been so close . . . dangerously close, Luke realized. The scent of her hair had been so alluring, the curvature of her body pressed innocently into his. With a hidden grin, Luke realized that he liked that side of Mara the best. Luke stepped out of the turbolift and walked the corridor to his apartment. Usually, the sight of his own place would have felt a comfort to him, but somehow this time it didn't. With a frustrated sigh, he walked to the dining table and picked a fresh fruit from a serving tray. Absently, he bit into it. What did this all mean? So he liked that side of Mara better; so what? Couldn't a friend want the close company of another friend? 'Not that close,' voice in the back of Luke's mind said. 'But she's so beautiful,' the other part of him contradicted. The very way she moved caused Luke to have to plummet into calming exercised half of the time. Her dancer's grace was amazing, he'd have to give her that much. And the very scent of her . . . goddess how he loved the smell of her hair. Luke stopped his movements and the color nearly drained from his face as he realized what he had been going on thinking of. Mara Jade aroused something in him he thought he would never see again, he couldn't deny that anymore. And she had done it so subtly that he hadn't even noticed! Not until now. But did *she* know? He snorted as he realized how strangely similar this all was to the early days of Han and Leia's relationship. He had sensed, more than seen, a hidden passion that they had held for each other on Hoth. They were both so preoccupied with why it *shouldn't* happen, that they disregarded all the reasons why it *should* happen. They had let conscious thought take over instinct. But was that what was happening here? 'All right, so I care for her . . . a lot. None of that matters if she just thinks of you as a friend, though.' Luke sighed heavily. He desperately wondered what Mara was doing, was thinking, at the moment. Did she share any of his feelings? Was he more than just a friend to her? He didn't know, and for many reasons, he didn't *want* to know. But, then what was he to do? Go on pretending that nothing was different, that they were still the same two people that they always were? "How absurd is this?" Luke thought aloud. "I'm in love with the woman who once held more hatred for me than the Emperor himself!" Love . . . *love?* He had just said that he loved her. Did he? Trembling slightly as he finished the last of the fruit, he had finally reached what had taken him eight years to realize. "Good goddess..." he mumbled to himself. He was in love with her, there was no denying it. The realization was enough to render Luke completely helpless. He couldn't think about this right now. It was just too difficult. So he did the only thing he could think of to push back the overwhelming loneliness the feelings stirred--he slipped into a deep, dulling Jedi trance that would allow him to feel nothing at all. There he remained far into the early evening hours when he was abruptly shaken of his trance. His face impassive and his head more clear than it had ever been, he rushed out of his apartment in search of what had roused him. Silence. It engulfed her and stabbed at her body like the force of a thousand vibroknives. Maybe it wasn't so much the silence as it was the emptiness it created . . . The breezes of the dusk sky whipped through Mara's hair, blowing wisps of the red-gold mass about her face. Huddled in a chair on her balcony, she didn't seem to notice. Mara stared towards the horizon, watching the bright hues fade into muted blues and slighted pinks. It all seemed so peaceful, so sickening peaceful. "Damn you, Skywalker," she muttered softly. The words were meant to be bitter, but all that came through was exhausted emotion. The day had come and gone with more conflicting emotions than Mara wanted to admit. She'd never before allowed herself to think so intently about one subject for so long. Such musings were dangerous and distracting, but this afternoon Mara hadn't even thought twice about it hindering her concentration. The winds picked up again and Mara pulled the blanket more closely around herself. Ever since Luke had left that morning, she had been feeling as if she had suddenly been deprived of something. She was empty and alone. The void threatened to take over her entire being. With that thought Mara squinted her eyes shut and inwardly winced. She didn't want to think like this, didn't want Skywalker to be the center of that void, didn't want to think about him at all. Reluctantly, Mara reopened her eyes. It had taken what seemed like a lifetime for her to realize it, but now she openly admitted to herself what Luke Skywalker meant to her. There had always been tension between them, and very intense emotion. As they had said the previous evening, it was always one extreme or the other. Now, it seemed it was the other. "No," Mara whispered to herself, her voice getting lost in the wind. "This isn't happening." But the words were empty and she knew it. It was too late to stop her emotions, now. It had taken most of the day to trace how far back they really went. Surprisingly, she had traced her feelings all the way back to when she had first met Skywalker--after Wayland, when he had given her his father's lightsaber. Mara fingered the cylinder at her left hip. She didn't usually wear it, but today she had wanted it close for some reason. Eight years had passed and she still didn't know exactly why Skywalker had given her his father's lightsaber. But it had meant more to her than he would probably ever realize, even more that *she* cared to realize. Mara stared absently over the vast cityscape. This was where it had all started--here on Coruscant, on an evening just like this one. They had been circling each other ever since. Would it ever stop? Feeling defeated from her own train of thought, Mara pushed back a tear that had begun to collect in her eye. She wasn't sure whether to curse him or be grateful to Skywalker for bringing out these emotions in her. He could be so cruel at times . . . others he was the most sincere man she had ever met. For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, Mara wondered what Luke was doing, what he was thinking. She hadn't had the courage to reach out to him through the Force the whole afternoon for fear of reestablishing that intimate mind connection. It would just remind her of what she couldn't have. Confused and frustrated, Mara stood up and walked back into her apartment with the blanket still wrapped tightly around her body. She wasn't even cold for Sith's sake! More angry now, she threw the blanket in the general direction of the couch and began to pace. "Think, think, think!" she commanded herself aloud. "You could always kill him," she said dully. She pivoted on one foot and began in the opposite direction again. "No, I wouldn't want to deal with Organa-Solo after that one. Hmmm." She paced silently for several more minutes, just thinking to herself. Mara was hardly the type of person to let her problems get the better of her. It just wasn't in her nature. She had to do something. "You could always just tell him to leave," she mused. "He'd leave if you told him to." Mara snorted at that. He'd do anything if she asked, and she knew it. "Think, Mara, think. Sending him away isn't going to accomplish anything." Ten more minutes passed before she allowed herself to sink into a large, white, self-conforming chair in the corner of the room. She hugged her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on top her knees. Rocking back and forth gently, she tried to muster up enough courage to do what she should have done years before. After swallowing hard and ceasing her rocking motion, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She reached out with her senses, searching for that familiar presence. "Luke . . ." she whispered, both through the Force and out loud. Instead of being slammed by barriers that were tended to of mere instinct, she found a flood of thoughts being let open. At first the sensation caused Mara to wince and furrow in confusion, but she soon realized that he was in meditation. Her first instinct was to just retreat and forget about the whole thing, until she caught hold of the subconscious thoughts he was emitting. It took her several reminders that the subconscious doesn't lie for her to believe what she was "seeing." "Oh, gods," she whispered absently and carefully withdrew from Luke's mind. Her breath caught in her throat and her pulse quickened. This wasn't a game anymore, this was really happening. It took Mara a strangled conscious effort to remember to breathe, and several minutes to stop her head from spinning. But once she regained her wit, her mind had been made up. This confusion and circling was going to stop. Now. Mara closed her eyes and concentrated on the center of her thoughts. Luke walked down the corridors at a much slower pace than he felt compelled to move at. There seemed to be an urgency in his steps, though he was only vaguely aware of it. His mind was set on one thing, and one thing only--Mara. His face was expressionless and his mind void of any conscious thought. As he neared Mara's apartment, his pace began to quicken. He knew she could feel his presence, because he could feel hers. The link that they had formed that morning was rapidly being reestablished, weaving their minds together in a web of pooled thought. Luke didn't know who opened the door--whether it was Mara from inside, or his Force effort--but when he finally came to the opened door and came face to face with Mara who was less than a meter away, he froze. They both stood there, staring intently at each other, chests heaving and eyes burning wild. Their minds were one and yet the tension seemed so thick between them that it created a physical wall. Breathing stopped and hearts went still for a single moment . . . and that's when it happened. They crashed into each other with a passion that they had never seen the other emit, their lips instantly locking, and hands searching to caress. The door slammed shut, but neither seemed to hear it. Mara found herself being pressed up against a wall and she moaned at the thought of Luke taking her right then and there. His hard body was pressing stiffly against her, his mouth ravenously and blindly searching hers. She felt his hands all over her body, sending stimulating pulses through her abdomen with every touch, and she sought to return the favor. It took Luke far more than just a few minutes for the situation to truly register within his mind. Previous to the immediate moment, he had had no conscious thought. Natural impulses had simply diluted him. But now, as his arousal became more urgent and far more obvious to both he and Mara, he fought for some kind--any kind--of control. "M-mar-ra," he sputtered in-between kisses. When he tried to pull back, he found that Mara was, by instinct, following his motions, and so he had to physically hold her back at arm's length. The impatient, flustered, and utterly lustful expression plastered across Mara's face threatened to cause Luke to lose control again. He closed his eyes, running through several Jedi calming techniques, and took a very deep breath. He sensed, more than felt, Mara doing the same. The pounding in Mara's ear's was close to deafening. Her pulse had increased to a deep THUD THUD THUD and her breathing came in short, deep pants. She wanted to speak, to say something, anything . . . but she found her voice was betraying her, giving out nothing but soft whimpers of frustration. Luke opened his eyes and reached out with his hand, gently brushing a thumb across her flustered cheek. His body again grew closer to hers, and she could feel his desire pressing stiffly up against her belly. He flooded her mind with his thoughts, trying his best to soothe her--give something of an explanation for his sudden reluctance. And even though she herself agreed with his train of thought, it did little to calm the intense throbbing of her loins. After a sharp intake of breath, Mara sputtered, "We need to talk." He simply nodded. And suddenly Luke felt their Force link being severed. He winced at the sudden void it created and looked at Mara in dismay. She offered no explanation, only an expressionless look. After lingering a second, she looked away and then seated herself on the couch, fully encompassing herself in self-contemplation. Luke reluctantly took a seat next to her, carefully studying her profile. Mara let out a sound that was a half-cry, half-laugh. "What IS this?" she said into the air. "What?" Luke furrowed an eyebrow as she turned to look at him. She repeated her earlier statement, then added, "We're . . . this . . . relationship . . . what . . ." She allowed herself to whimper, turning dry sobs into something that sounded like a laugh. Luke groaned softly and buried his face in his hands. "I know, I know. This doesn't make any sense." He sighed. "It's all I've been thinking about all day and it *still* doesn't make any sense." She turned to look at him, scooting herself closer to him so that her thigh was pressing against his. He uncovered his face. "Luke . . . I suck with words, okay? There's no other way to put it." She cracked a slight smile and was rewarded with one of Skywalker's grins. She looked as if she were going to say more, but instead she closed her eyes and took his hand, placing it above her left breast, over her heart . . . and opened her mind to him. Luke was confused at first, but he felt Mara tugging at his mind, showing him a path to follow. And there, deep in her subconscious, Luke found all the answers he needed. He found her true feelings for him, and found that they had been lingering deep within her for a very long time, now. With a trembling sigh, Luke reversed the roles, taking Mara's hand and placing it over his heart. He took her along a similar path in his mind, showing her the love that had been swelling within himself. And then they opened their eyes, both still stunned. As if to make sure it weren't a dream, they reached out to touch each other--softly, tenderly, lovingly. "Mara," Luke whispered. "I . . ." "Yes?" she whispered back. 'Just say it!' his mind screamed. He opened his mouth, paused, and then whispered, "I love you. I have for a long time. More than I realize, I think." He expected her to freeze, to panic, or to even laugh, but the reaction he received was definitely not expected, however welcomed it may have been. Mara smiled gently, a smile that she only gave to him, and stroked his cheek with a tenderness he wouldn't expect from her. "I love you too, Luke," she croaked. Luke broke out into a full scale smile and kissed her more playfully this time. He stood up, pulling Mara into his arms, and twirled her around a bit. "Ahh!" she laughed. "Luke, let me down!" She giggled some more. She poked him in the ribs where she knew he was ticklish to emphasize her point. Luke jumped, laughed, and let Mara to the floor, still not letting her out of his grasp. He cupped her face in his hands and planted small, quick pecks across her cheeks and lips. He moved to the side of her neck and she smiled, tilting her head slightly and running her hands through his hair. She purred softly with closed eyes, more calmed now than she had been just minutes before. "Luke," she whispered close to his ear. The vibrations of her voice sent chills up his spine. "Hmm?" he muttered as he continued his trail of kisses up to her ear. She moaned softly and began to tremble slightly. She knew that her previous state of arousal was rapidly returning to her. And from the feel of it, returning to Luke, too. "Stay with me here tonight, Luke. Stay with me--make love to me." Her trembling dulled slightly as he pulled back to gaze into Mara's eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked seriously. She nodded, feeling in full control of her emotions for the first time in weeks, months even. "Yes," she whispered. "This isn't moving too fast for you?" "No," was her strong reply. She moved in closer to him. "I've wanted you, wanted *this*, for a long time. I love you and I . . . I'm *very* attracted to you." She moved her lips closer to his ear, just lightly making contact. "I want you, Luke," she whispered. She felt him stiffen, knew every sensation that was coursing through his body. But she didn't need the Force to know that he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him. With his desire in full motion again, Luke brought Mara's lips to his, kissing her with a barely contained urgency. Mara responded instantly, letting out a small whimper and wrapping her arms around his neck. Her knees gave way as Luke effortlessly scooped her up into his arms in one swift motion, blindly making his way down the hall towards her bedroom. Discarded clothes became heaps on the floor, soon unmasking them both, leading them to the point where they both so longed to be. Luke stared at her nude form, totally encompassed in the moment, and smiled softly. "You are so beautiful," he whispered as he moved in closer. Mara's body trembled as skin touched skin and mouths locked in one, searing kiss. This was what eight years of angered battles, tearful regrets, and one blind friendship had brought them to. After eight years, they had finally seen what was there all along. It was one night of passion that would lead to many others. And in later years, they often asked each other why they waited so long. FIN