A Journey of Discovery -- Book One: Pendulum Chapter 10 By Michele See Chapter 1 for disclaimer Rated PG-13 Darth Vader stood in silence, watching as his troopers examined the broken remains of six bounty hunters. "We found this, my lord." A haggard lieutenant held out the crushed remnants of a small holocube. Vader waved him off. He knew what the object was, just as he knew who caused the deaths of these inept blunderers. There were no telltale traces of his son's presence, nor of Jade's. But the evidence of their handiwork was unmistakable. The Emperor's Hand, no doubt, did more than her share of the killing, Vader thought as he gazed upon the dried blood adorning one victim's throat. Her skills as an assassin were admirable, he had to admit. But her strength of will in defying the Emperor -- that was what was truly astonishing. Had Luke persuaded her to join him, or had she decided to flee on her own after learning of her would-be fate if Luke wouldn't turn? That the two of them would team up in their efforts was also remarkable, as each represented what the other abhorred. The Dark Lord paced the small storeroom as the stormtroopers disposed of the bodies into a floating cart. He thought back to the holo-recordings he'd viewed of Luke's suite. Could he have misread the relationship between Luke and Jade? He had guessed Luke was fond of the woman. She'd said it herself -- Luke was a caring person. But was Jade capable of truly caring for someone? She had been Palpatine's puppet all her young life. Up until a few days ago, Vader had thought of her as only a callous, ruthless, killer. But now... He hoped, for Luke's sake, that she wasn't merely using him for her own selfish motives. He didn't want to believe his son was shallow enough to be beguiled by only her physical attributes. Luke seemed to have an uncanny gift of insight into a person's true psyche, though. Wasn't he himself still haunted by the young man's words on Endor? -- 'I can feel the good inside you, Father...' Vader shook his head wearily. No, it was too late for him. He had no choice but to obey his master -- a master who would show no mercy when the escapees were apprehended. Earlier that morning, a patrol in the domed Western Underground reported a possible sighting of Jade and Skywalker. Lord Vader had visited the site, but like here, no vestige of their Force presence was detectable. Those stormtroopers would be severely punished for their failure to detain the fugitives, just as the palace guards had been. Palpatine had been so furious over Luke and Mara's successful escape that he fried Herkin on the spot. The Dark Lord reached out yet again for his son, but was met by the same blank wall. Not expecting an answer, he sent the plea nevertheless -- *Luke ... son ... hear me. Surrender, and your life will be spared. Luke ...* Vader clenched one fist in frustration. Their force shield was stronger than anything Jade could have managed on her own, especially with being in place continuously for nearly a full day now. Luke's powers were growing by leaps and bounds, and Jade was taking full advantage of them. With his cape billowing behind him, Darth Vader led the way back to the transport. It was imperative that he recapture his son, regardless of whether Luke's destiny was as an accomplice in overthrowing Palpatine, or as an executed prisoner. The fate of the galaxy balanced on the fate of Luke Skywalker. * * * * * * * * * * * As Luke and Mara ventured on, they continually passed scores of shabby beings of all species, some begging, some cowering in dark corners, some obviously looking for opportunities to prey on their less fortunate brethren. As they passed one particular dank alcove, Luke could hear whimpering in the shadows. Peering closer, he could make out two huddled figures in threadbare rags. "Please, sir," a weak voice rasped in broken Basic. "If you have any food to spare ... for my child. Just a few crumbs." Luke could feel their hunger and despair tearing at his heart. "Yes, of course." He jerked around as Mara yanked his arm. *What are you doing?!* Her face reflected her strong disapproval. *This could be a trap.* *It's not,* he returned emphatically, as he pulled out of her grasp and turned back to the beggars. He produced the remainder of their Noryath bread and handed it to the mother, along with a container of their precious water. "Bless you, kind sir," the being said in grateful appreciation. "May fortune smile on you and your companion." "Thank you," Luke whispered, laying one hand lightly on the bundled child. He didn't sense any illness, just malnourishment. Standing behind Luke, Mara rolled her eyes in exasperation as he stood to leave. "You are way too soft-hearted and trusting, Sk..." Luke gave her a sharp look, and she caught herself. Resuming their hike down the clammy corridor, she continued her lecture. "You don't even know what species they were. You can't save every pathetic lifeform you come across." "They were Gotals, not that it makes any difference," he bit out. "I know I can't help everyone, but don't expect me to be indifferent to their suffering. I can't do that ..." Luke stopped short, a frown appearing on his face. "What's the matter?" Mara questioned, watching him carefully. He shook his head, then continued walking. "Nothing." "Skywalker ... " Mara growled, making it clear that his answer wasn't to her satisfaction. "Father was calling to me," he murmured. "And?" "And that was it." He glanced at her briefly. "He won't find us. He can't break through our shield." He looked away, then turned back, a renewed sense of determination shadowing his features as he quickened his gait. "We need to use false names when others are around," Luke continued matter-of-factly. "All right," Mara replied, sensing he was in no mood to discuss his father at the moment. "What do you suggest?" "I don't know." He surprised her with a crooked grin. "You don't seem to have any trouble finding plenty of names to call me." "That's not hard," she humphed, "with a uncouth farmboy like you." She eyed him with a wicked gleam. "Foy." "Huh?" "Figure it out." It took Luke another dozen or so paces to connect 'foy' with 'farmboy.' It took him much longer to come up with an appropriate rejoinder. They traveled on for several hours, delving deeper and deeper into the city's dismal abyss. Mara stumbled slightly as a weary yawn escaped her. "You need to sleep," Luke admonished. "C'irl." Mara yawned again. "What was that?" Took him long enough to think of something, she thought sleepily. But what did it mean? "Figure it out," he shot back. "While you're falling asleep." He guided her into yet another deserted chamber. There didn't seem to be any shortage of long-abandoned structures. Luke wondered briefly how many years ago this level had been a thriving area in the lives of civilized society. In the early days of the Old Republic, perhaps? Shining his glow rod around, Luke found some rags and scraps of wafer board piled in a corner. "C'mon." He pulled her down beside him and patted his lap. Reluctantly Mara knelt down, wishing she'd thought to smuggle along some stimpills. "I'll just lay next to you," she murmured. "Ahh, ahh, ahh," Luke shook his head. "I have to return the favor." He pulled her closer. "Maybe we can even risk a fire and find something to grill when you wake up." "This isn't some campout," she groused, nestling her head gingerly in Luke's lap, her dull brown hair spilling over his outstretched legs. Admit it, girl. The very thought of being THIS close to him, in THIS position, was unsettling to say the least. "Now what would a city girl like you know about campouts?" He pulled a tattered piece of cloth over her hunched form. She was too tired to even retort, but somewhere in her foggy mind the words 'city girl' and 'C'irl' flowed together. Her last waking thought was - it took him two hours to think of that? Luke found himself rather enjoying the sensation of Mara's closeness and her warmth. Making sure his grip on their Force shield was strongly intact, he closed his eyes against the squalor surrounding them, and used the Force to block his olfactory sense from the stench. Mara fell asleep quickly, her breathing even and calm. Luke reached a hand out cautiously, running it through her darkened locks. He thought back to the night she spent in his suite. In his bed... He couldn't fathom anything more wonderful than having her lying next to him. His outside senses may want to remind him they were in the bowels of hell, running for their lives, but his libido was telling him he was in paradise. And then she moved. Turned over, to be exact, and was now facing straight at him, her mouth mere centimeters from him. Luke shifted ever so slightly, and resumed stroking her hair. Mara moaned in response and snuggled even closer. Luke froze. He could feel himself getting more aroused by the minute. Of all the crazy predicaments ... Then the Emperor's Hand did something Luke both welcomed and dreaded in the same instant -- she wrapped one arm behind him, clutching him tightly against her face. And the tighter she held him, the tighter his pants seemed to get. Ahh, Sith! Should he wake her? And let her find herself in this position? A definite NO, he decided. He valued his life too much. So he would just grit his teeth and bear it. Or rather, grin and bear it. Luke laid one hand lightly on Mara's shoulder. He didn't think he could handle whatever further reactions she might have with continued hair stroking. Having fantasies about this kind of occurrence was one thing; having it right in your lap was quite another. Closing his eyes and leaning back, Luke let his mind wander. Asleep, Mara was like another person -- soft, warm, vulnerable. He wondered if he would feel this contented if it were any other woman lying this close. He felt he could overcome all the obstacles still facing him with her by his side. Luke couldn't see Mara's face clearly in the gloom of their hideaway, but it didn't matter. He had long ago memorized her features. He especially liked the little smirk she was so fond of sporting. And then there was the look she had given him in the dream he'd had about her, the last night he'd spent in the suite. He recalled the details vividly; had committed them to memory, tucked away in a little corner of his mind she couldn't easily see. He'd dreamt he and Mara were in the whirlpool, but they weren't practicing the Force or discussing escape plans this time. He was lying against the sloped side of the tub, water chest high. Mara was leaning against him, lower in the water, but kissing her way up his body with an unbelievable gentleness. Water dripped from her red-gold hair, glistening on her smooth shoulders. In the crazy way of dreams, he wasn't able to see the rest of her body, but somehow he knew neither of them was wearing the usual last-holdout of undergarments. Mara had finally made her way up to his mouth, and her eyes sparkled at him with a passion so hungry it made his head spin. Luke smiled to himself in the darkness, recalling her purr out his name. His first name, not his last name, not some derogatory nickname. She had parted her lips and ... growled. Luke frowned. No, wait, there hadn't been any growling in his dream. Moaning, maybe, but definitely no growling. Yet there it was again ... Luke jerked upright so quickly he banged his head against the wall, his eyes straining wide-open into the gloom. Silhouetted against the dim light from the outer corridor stood a spine- chilling sight -- a monstrous rodentlike creature, ten times bigger than anything Luke had seen so far in the underground tunnels. An armored plating covered its nearly two meter long body, wicked spines sticking up from its humped back. Luke held his breath as another growl emitted from the animal's pointed snout, which was framed by a pair of fearsome tusks. He felt in the darkness for his blaster, which he'd pulled out of his waistband earlier, not wanted to risk shooting himself or Mara's face. Stang, where was it? Must have gotten pushed aside when Mara had rolled over. Calm. Gotta stay calm. Maybe it will just go away. Luke attempted to instill a jolt of fear into the creature's mind, but its primitive brain didn't even seem to recognize the concept. Its beady eyes did seem to recognize an easy meal when it saw one, though, and its sharp claws scraped the ferrocrete floor as it skulked closer to its intended prey. Luke was contemplating the possible success of a Force barrier when Mara suddenly rose up on one elbow. "What's that noise?" she groused sleepily, irritated by what she perceived to be her pillow's stomach growling. "Don't move!" Luke shouted, but it was too late. With an angry snarl, the beast leapt at them, jagged teeth dripping with saliva. Now wide-awake, Mara rolled back into Luke in an attempt to see what was coming at her. She tried to reach her wrist blaster, but found one arm tangled behind her companion. Irritated at her inability to retrieve her favorite weapon, she was scrambling for the vibro-blade she'd confiscated from the bounty hunter when she stopped short, watching in fascinated horror as the gruesome animal writhed in agony, guttural squeals echoing in the room. After several moments, the creature's hideous shrieks died out, along with its spasmodic jerks of death. It lay still, its sinister black claws only centimeters from Mara's drawn-up form. Mara could hear Luke's labored breathing next to her as she found her backpack and pulled out one of their glow rods. She pointed it at the fallen animal, nudging it with one foot to assure herself of its demise, though she could sense no life emanating from it. Sweeping the light around the room, she caught a glimpse of Luke's taut face, beaded with perspiration. "What happened?" she demanded. "How did you ...?" "I strangled it," Luke whispered weakly, his voice wrought with pain. Mara's eyes opened wide in astonishment as she looked between him and the huge creature. "With the Force? You mean like Vader chokes peop..." She bit her tongue at the slip. Of all the things to remind him of! "Sorry." Mara threw back the makeshift blanket and shuffled to her feet, checking the reassuring feel of her blaster on the way up. She also verified to herself that Luke hadn't lost his grip on the Force shield around their presence. He glanced at her silently as she resumed her own shield personally, relieving him of the burden. Feeling more in control of her situation now, and watching warily for any possible additional attackers, Mara circled around the fallen creature. She remembered the amazement from Jabba's court when the young Jedi had killed the rancor. But that had been more due to his wits and quick thinking than any raw Force power. It was the gate he'd triggered that had landed the fatal blow. But this, this was altogether different. This was worthy of Vader himself. She noticed Luke still staring blankly at the creature, arms wrapped around his legs, chin resting on his knees. "I've often wondered what it feels like to him." Luke spoke so softly she barely heard him. "Whether he has ever felt any remorse." Mara walked back and knelt by his side. "Skywalker, this was a primitive beast, not a sentient being. You did what you had to." Just as Luke was about to reply, they were interrupted by the sounds of footsteps coming closer. Several humans and aliens entered the small room, most brandishing weapons of one sort or another. "We heard the commotion," a bearded man leading the party began. "By all the fires of hell, will ya look at that?!" The others crowded in behind him, shining decrepit glow lamps and makeshift torches at the sight before them. "Is it dead?" lisped a bedraggled Rodian. "How did you ever kill it?" added a Twi'lek, his dirty, scarred head tentacles twitching nervously. The visitors began poking and prodding at the creature, all the while giving Luke and Mara curious glances. Luke finally rose to his feet, ignoring the questions. "Do you know what kind of animal it is?" he posed an inquiry of his own. "It's called a borrat," the bearded human informed them. "It's been terrorizing these tunnels for months. Killed three beings last week alone." "We think it migrated up from the lower levels," put in a female Snivvian. "My mate was one of those killed." "Are there more?" Mara broached, wanting to confirm that this was indeed the same creature. "No, they don't travel in packs," the Twi'lek explained. "This is the only one we've seen." "How did you kill it?" the Rodian repeated the earlier question. All eyes turned to the two young people. "We stunned it," Mara said quickly, wanting to save Luke from any kind of reply. "And then we battered it over the head with a block of duracrete." Everyone took a step backwards from the creature. "Are you sure it's dead?" somebody asked. "We're sure," Luke finally spoke up. He gave Mara a frown, but didn't dispute her tale. "However you did it, we are grateful." The Snivvian followed up her words by clasping Mara's hands in thankfulness, then did the same to Luke. Soon everyone was surrounding them, gushing words and other displays of gratitude. "This calls for a celebration," the human announced, and the others cheered in agreement. "We'll feast on roast borrat tonight!" Vibroblades and other cutting implements appeared in the hands of several of the beings, and they instantly set to work at skinning the tough hide off the beast and butchering it into small bloody slabs. "You must join us," the Snivvian said to Luke and Mara. "We have a large chamber close by with a cooking hearth. You will be our guests of honor. After all, it is your kill." Luke started to shake his head in declination, but Mara stepped in front of him. "Of course we will come." She grabbed Luke's elbow, guiding him out of the room. Her taste buds were already salivating with the thought of fresh grilled meat; she didn't care where it came from. They followed the ragtag troupe down a nearby corridor, sidestepping the trail of dripping blood from the prized spoils. Soon they came to a spacious antechamber, no doubt once an elegant gathering area for Old Republic high society. Several more assorted beings sat huddled around a large hearth where a small fire burned, its smoke rising into grated vents in the ceiling. The human and the Twi'lek took charge of making introductions of their fellow vagabonds. The Twi'lek then turned to Luke and Mara. "I'm afraid I don't know your names." Mara spoke up first. "I am C'irl ... D'Linn, and this is my brother Foy." As the others talked, Luke appraised their hosts. He sensed neither recognition of them from the motley group, nor ill will. Several of them were already skewering strips of borrat meat onto long metal rods, which they then suspended above the cooking fire. Mara noticed his eyeing of the others, and sidled over next to him. "I think we're safe here, for the time being," she whispered. "No one acts suspicious." "Guess so," he murmured. Mara was beginning to be concerned over Luke's sullen behavior. This wasn't like him at all; he was taking this way too hard. "I'll go get us something to eat," she offered, getting only a slight nod of acknowledgement in return. She soon was back with a long skewer of grilled meat, its aroma filling her senses with anticipation. She tore off a small piece and held it out for Luke. "I'm not hungry," he muttered, gazing at the floor. "You need to eat something," she insisted, frowning at his stubbornness. "Or are you too good to eat a rodent? You could always roast some of those roots you've been dragging along." He finally gave her a wry sideways glance. "I'm sure I've eaten more womp rats in my life than you'd care to hear about. Besides, aren't you the one that said we weren't on a campout?" "My empty stomach changed my mind." Mara tasted a bite of the seared fare. "Not too bad. Not roasted Uln, but edible." Luke suddenly stood, closing himself off from her probes. "I'm going for a walk," he announced. "Foy," Mara called after him. "It's all right," he glanced back at her. "I won't go far." Blast that man, Mara thought, continuing to chew on her dinner but no longer tasting its flavor. Just when she thought she had him all figured out, he does a one-hundred-eighty degree turn. Finishing her portion, she ignored the questioning stares of the others as she followed Luke's path out of the chamber. She had no trouble finding him in a deserted side passage. "Hey." She reached around him, clasping his arm. "All this moping isn't good for your health." Luke refused to look at her, but didn't shake off her touch. "I choked the life out of it, Mara. You said it -- just like my father does." "That's not what I meant," she protested. "You did it in self- defense. There was no hate or malice in you. I've had plenty of experience witnessing the darkside. You were NOT using it when you killed that thing." "But I touched on it the other morning, with Herkin." He turned to look her in the eye. "You felt it, I know you did." "And you immediately regretted it. I felt that, too." "I need to constantly be on vigil, though." Luke sighed to himself in frustration. "Sith, I can't even keep a watch against dumb animals. I should have sensed the borrat coming, long before it got that close. I was responsible for our safety while you were sleeping, and what was I doing? -- daydreaming!" "When are you going to get it through your thick skull, you are not responsible for me, awake or asleep?" Luke ignored her comment, continuing on his train of thought. "Yoda didn't want to train me because I had always looked away to other things instead of what I was supposed to be doing. Uncle Owen constantly admonished me for having my head in the clouds." Luke leaned back against a wall, squeezing his eyes shut. "I once overheard Aunt Beru remind him that my father was a dreamer too. And you know what happened to him." "Maybe what happened to him was because he lost sight of those dreams." Mara gently took both his hands in hers. "You're a good man, Skywalker. Don't try to change." Lost in his own thoughts, Luke didn't answer. "Now, just out of curiosity," Mara continued, "what were you daydreaming about?" "Doesn't matter." Luke shook his head and smiled weakly. "Something I have no business thinking about." Mara gave him a peeved look, but didn't press. "C'mon. Let's go get our packs and be on our way." Soon, Mara and Luke were once more traveling through the dingy tunnels, leaving their hosts with little more than a superficial explanation. They continued on far into the night, at least according to what their chronos told them. Mara finally convinced Luke it was his turn to rest. "But you didn't get your whole two hours last time," he objected. "You should sleep awhile first." "You know, Skywalker," Mara grumbled. "You're beginning to argue as much as me." She slid down in a heap, absently scratching her scalp. "I didn't think that hair dye would itch this much." Luke found himself rubbing his side, then reaching down to scratch his leg. "I have a feeling it's not the dye," he murmured reluctantly. "You think we picked up some kind of ... infestation?" Mara wondered aloud. "We haven't exactly been living under the most sanitary of conditions," he pointed out. "Well, isn't this just great," Mara groused, then pointed to her lap. "Now lay down and go to sleep." Luke hesitantly laid his head on her legs. "If I start to turn over, you have my permission to swat me back where I belong," he murmured. "Why would ...?" Mara stopped suddenly, remembering the peculiar position she found herself in when the borrat attacked. "Skywalker, what happened ...?" "Nothing, I swear," he assured her quickly. "It was none of my doing." "WHAT was none of your doing?" She leaned over and yanked his head around enough to face her. "Luke Skywalker..." she scowled threateningly. Luke gave her a wink and she pushed his head back down. "Go to sleep. I don't even want to know." She could have sworn she heard him mumble, "Thank the Force." Two hours later they were once more on their way, determined to put as much distance between themselves and the Emperor as possible. They'd been traveling for some time when Mara yawned widely, stumbling slightly in the process. "Time for somebody's beauty rest." Luke reached out to steady her elbow. Mara jerked away indignantly. "I'm fine." "Look, you haven't slept since yesterday evening, and not that much then." Luke continued ahead several dozen meters and poked his head into the remains of a large room. "Must have been some kind of meeting room, or even a school," he said, noting the jumble of decaying desks and chairs. "Yeah, a few hundred years ago," Mara groused, coming up behind him. Luke glanced around and spotted a large table turned on its side, draped with a piece of filthy curtain. "That looks like a cozy spot for a nap," he said, nodding with his head. Mara sighed in acquiescence and bent down to inspect the shelter. She quickly drew back, though, a startled look on her face. "We can't go under there," she bit out. "Why not?" "It's already occupied," she replied, annoyed that apparently both of them were too tired to sense the current inhabitants. "Looks like a couple of Bimms." "Bimms are friendly," Luke smiled teasingly. "I'm sure they'd share." "Well, I'm not asking. They're busy." "Doing what?" "Being friendly with each other." Mara gave him a pointed look. "Oh," Luke murmured, hoping his inevitable blush wasn't too noticeable. Luke crossed to the other side of the spacious room, and began bunching up more scraps of the once-elegant draperies. "How about over here?" "All right," Mara agreed wearily. Luke settled himself down to a sitting position, then held out a hand to her. "C'mon." Mara bit her lip, her eyes traveling to his lap. "Uh, why don't you just lean up against me?" he suggested cautiously, patting his chest lightly. "If you're sure that much contact won't send those male hormones into a frenzy," she said sarcastically. Not nearly as much as having your face in my crotch, he thought. Luke tugged her close and Mara carefully lay against him, nestling her head on his shoulder. "Now don't you get so comfortable that you fall asleep too," she warned. "I'm fine," he retorted, echoing her own earlier affirmation. "Yeah, so fine you didn't even sense those Bimms over there. You got me shielded?" "I do, Desert Scout honor. Now go to sleep." As Mara drifted to sleep, Luke glanced over at the makeshift tent across the room. He should have felt the Bimms' presence, even if they didn't pose a danger. They couldn't afford to lower their guard, even for a second. Luke pulled a portion of heavy cloth over Mara, then wrapped his arms around her protectively. She had fallen asleep almost instantly, proof of her exhaustion. A short while later, two very satisfied-looking Bimms crawled out from under their refuge. As they began to exit, the male spotted the two huddled humans, and gave Luke a sly look out of the corner of his eye. "You're welcome to use our space, my friend," he said in stilted Basic. "We have it warmed up for you." Luke smiled weakly, but shook his head. "Thanks anyway, but I'm not allowed to get that friendly." The Bimm nodded sympathetically, and followed his mate out the crumbling doorway. * * * * * * * * * Two hours later, Mara's internal chrono signaled her that it was time to awaken, but her body didn't want to leave the comfort and warmth of her partner's embrace. She hadn't realized how much never being close to anyone had left her feeling empty inside until the first time this man's arms had held her. Opening her eyes, Mara looked up into Luke's shining blue gaze. Shifting slightly, she reached up and caressed his cheek gently, guiding his lips down to meet hers. Resisting at first, Luke finally yielded, pulling her against him tightly. They stretched out on the floor, a searing passion overcoming both of them. Mara ran one hand under his tunic, just as she had done so many times under the scrutiny of the suite's holocams. But this was no case of putting on an act for anyone; this was a fire that was consuming them both. Though Luke was kissing her hungrily and fervently, he hadn't yet tried to press his tongue into her mouth. Mara could, however, feel another part of his body pressing insistently against her, as if seeking admittance. She knew for a fact he'd not had sex since he was captured by Palpatine, nearly three weeks ago. Didn't most men crave it more often than that? Was she ready for that step? Here? Now? With him? Somehow the 'with him' part was the easiest to answer. She couldn't imagine anyone else. As Luke pushed Mara down into the rough folds of the tattered draperies, he felt as if all semblance of self-control had abandoned him. He thirsted for her touch, as a dying man in the desert would yearn for water. Luke ran one hand across her slim waist and down her hip. She was so soft, and he was getting painfully harder by the second. He squirmed slightly, hoping she hadn't noticed, then moaned into the nape of her throat as she caressed him seductively. Compared to his racing heart and sweaty palms, Mara appeared to him to be cool, calm, and collected. And most likely, waiting for him to guide their actions. Was she expecting him to guide them over to the tent-covered table? Panic suddenly gripped Luke's mind. Could he really carry through with what they'd started? Through the Force he could easily feel both her eagerness and her apprehension. She'd be anticipating an experienced lover who would know all the right ways to gratify her needs -- not some clumsy, innocent farmkid that had never done much more than kiss a girl. Stang, he couldn't even work up the courage to touch her breasts. He could never possibly measure up to the men she'd probably been with in the past. As she desperately tried to control her panting breath, Mara could feel Luke's hand moving tentatively under her tunic, then down her hip and across her thigh. She found herself responding in kind, running her fingers under his waistband, then across the seat of his pants, invoking a low moan as he pulled open her collar and planted kisses along her neck. It wasn't only Luke's body that Mara could feel, however. His Force presence was enveloping her, overwhelming her with his desire. But along with that desire she could detect his increasing hesitation. Luke paused as another thought occurred to him. Would he be able to maintain his Force shield if he ... ? His emotions would be skyrocketing all over Imperial City like fireworks at a Life Day celebration. No way His Excellency and dear ol' Dad were going to miss that. And he wasn't about to ask Mara to cover both of them. Sith, what are you thinking, Skywalker, even considering this? Fleeing for your life, and you suddenly decide to stop and lose your virginity? He wanted her, needed her. But not like this, not wallowing with wanton abandon, like depraved animals, on the filthy floor of some crumbling subterranean chamber. Mara was too important, too special to him. Luke shut his eyes tightly. He respected her too much ... Was it possible for a woman to long for something she'd never experienced? Mara wondered. All she knew was, she desired him in a way she never knew existed. At this moment in time, there was only she and Luke, wrapped up in their little Force shield cocoon. Force shield? Mara gripped Luke's clothing in panic. What if they did do this, and she couldn't keep up her shield? It would be all her fault if they were caught because she was too weak and inexperienced ... Luke could probably cover them both. He'd had no trouble during that episode with the borrat. But no way was she going to admit she needed his help. Once more Mara asked herself if she were ready. Being intimate with Luke had crossed her mind on more than one occasion ever since Palpatine had handed out her assignment. While she was grateful for escaping those ever-intrusive holocams, this was hardly the circumstances, or surroundings, she'd dreamed of either. What would Luke's reaction be if she wouldn't ... couldn't ... Mara was saved from any decision-making when Luke suddenly grabbed her hand, halting its wandering path. "No," he rasped in a ragged breath. "We can't do this. I can't. It isn't right." He cupped her face with his grime-covered hands. "Mara, this is not my path. Not now. I have a mission, a directive, to end Palpatine's reign of terror and return my father to the Light. I can't let myself be distracted." Mara rose up indignantly at his unexpected speech. "That's all I am to you? A distraction?" She pushed him back roughly, clamoring to her feet in one fluid motion. In the back of her jumbled mind, she didn't know whether to be insulted or relieved. "No, wait..., Mara..." Once again Luke had to attempt to extract his foot from his mouth. Would he ever learn to express himself without offending her? "I only meant..." "You said exactly what you meant." Mara retrieved her pack and settled it on her shoulders. Had she been doing something wrong, that he stopped so abruptly? Had she just missed her only chance at experiencing a man's love? "You're right. Neither of us can afford to stray from the task at hand." Mara swung around to find herself looking straight into his penitent gaze, begging her for forgiveness. What had she been thinking, leading him on like that? Not that he hadn't seemed to be a willing follower. Maybe that was the whole crux of her discomfort. He hadn't been a follower; he'd taken charge. And she still couldn't accept relinquishing that prerogative to anyone, even if deep down inside, relief was winning out over indignation. "We need to get going," she practically whispered. "We need to go topside and start looking for a ship." Luke nodded in agreement, but didn't trust himself to answer aloud. Had he just prevented them from experiencing the most beautiful thing possible, or saved them from making the biggest mistake of their lives? His mind told him he had been correct about avoiding distractions. Mere musings of the wrong kind had nearly gotten them killed by the borrat. But his heart told him Mara Jade would be the first, and only, woman he would ever make love to.